So, I've seen quite a lot this year, but as always not nearly as much as I'd of liked, but that's a pitfall many of us fall into. But anyway, here is my review of the year. I've tried to keep the reviews to one line and there'll be links to any movie I've reviewed earlier in the year. Enjoy!
NOTE: Some of these films are not 2011 films, but films I have watched for the first time in 2011. Before y'all start bitching. And it's not a complete list either, there's still time for some 2011 viewing.
The ones in bold are cinema viewings.
The Green Hornet – Better than expected, with a few nice visual flourishes.
Paul – Not bad; funny but not as much as you’d hope.
Sucker Punch – Absolute failure on all levels, aside from eye candy.
Source Code - Fantastic, zippy, timey wimey, sci-fi caper.
Your Highness – Sweary, stoner comedy that runs its one joke into the ground.
Fast Five – Most fun I’ve had in the cinema all year.
Thor – Fun light origin that suffers by being an Avengers set up.
Scream 4 – Ends up doing all the things the original made fun of.
Bridesmaids – hilarious film, with great performances all round.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides – dull fourquel with no excitement or adventure.
Kung Fu Panda 2 – Stunning fight choreography and genuinely affecting story, an improvement on the original in every way.
X-Men First Class – Pace-y, fun origin story with some fantastic action.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon – Big dumb fun, but awful at the same time.
Captain America – see above, re: Thor
Rise of the Planet of the Apes – Excellent reboot with the most sympathetic lead character this year.
The Inbetweeners Movie – Extended episode of the TV series but still reasonably funny.
Contagion – Excellent mood piece with fine performances, and a terrifying plot.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II - fine end to an entertaining franchise.
The Tournament – Ludicrous actioner, but a lot of fun.
Faster – kind of dull, but a nice departure from kiddie movies for The Rock.
Never Let Me Go – fantastic understated British sci-fi film, with a standout lead performance.
Easy A – tries so hard to be uber-hip, but the story never engages.
Megamind – fun first half, loses steam in the second.
Tangled – hugely enjoyable Disney animation, with some truly memorable characters.
In Time – Nice idea, flawed execution but with a solid turn from Timberlake.
Due Date – Coasts on the rep of Galifinakis, but the laughs aren’t there.
Machete – Somehow makes action scenes really dull.
Morning Glory – frothy, predictable, forgettable.
Tron Legacy – Looks and sounds amazing, that’s about it.
Monsters – Not at all what I expected, but a great movie nonetheless.
Let Me In – virtually identical to its Swedish counterpart, but something gets lost in the translation.
Resident Evil: Afterlife – Not as bad as you might think, but still pretty bad.
Buried – Great central performance, but predictable ending.
How to Train Your Dragon – visually sublime, sweet coming of age story. With dragons.
The Social Network – Gripping account of a potentially boring subject.
Batman and Robin - awful, on every level imaginable.
The Expendables – DTV actioner somehow gets A list stars but has Z list thrills.
Black Dynamite – Hilarious highly quotable pastiche of 70’s blaxploitation flicks.
The Other Guys – remarkably laugh free mess.
Date Night – decent enough slightly OTT comedy with likeable leads.
[REC]2 – Just as good sequel to the terrifying original.
Attack the Block - Unremarkable Brit flick, means well but never quite kicks into gear.
Bronson – Blackly comic biopic with an amazing lead performance.
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs – a little too kooky for my liking, but fun while it lasts.
127 Hours – oddly uplifting survival tale with a tour-de-force lead turn.
The Thing – pointless but enjoyable enough remake, with some good monster effects.
Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol – fun actioner with some of the best stunts you’ll see all year.
Games
Marvel Vs Capcom 3 – ADD beat ‘em up, but if you don’t know the combos you’re screwed.
Bulletstorm – Totally mental shooter and a hell of a lot of fun.
Assassins Creed: Brotherhood – yet another AC game but with great new additions (the Assassins Guild) and an ace multiplayer component.
Portal 2 – easily my game of the year.
LA Noire – only just bought this but so far, a dozen or so cases in, it’s brilliant.
LIMBO – haunting puzzle game that sticks in the memory long after the credits roll.
Gears of War 3 – more of the same, but that same is awesome.
Batman: Arkham City – improves on the original in every way, except for the plot.
Battlefield 3 – dull campaign, never got to play the multiplayer (stupid EA online pass)
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 – nothing new, but for top notch gaming thrills, you can’t beat it.
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim – again, only just got it, but it looks ace so far.
Dead Island - creepy open world co-op zombie bashing, so far so good.
Friday 30 December 2011
Thursday 29 December 2011
CINEMA REVIEW: The Thing
Ah, the prequel. A word that has become synonymous with the term ‘inferior cash-in.’
In many ways, a lot of them are. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t without their merits. This years The Thing, a prequel to the 1982 John Carpenter movie of the same name (just to make things extra confusing), was branded as inferior before it was ever released to the public, which is a tad unfair. After seeing it, I can tell you it’s not as good as the original but it’s not exactly a massive shitfest either. In fact, its only crime is that it apes the beats of the first film almost exactly; and let’s not forget that while the original is enjoyable it’s not the greatest movie ever or anything (but then again, it does come from The Decade That Cannot Be Badmouthed but I digress onto a personal pet peeve of mine). And besides, the 1982 movie was a pseudo remake itself, so y’all can get off those mutated multi-limbed high horses.
The new film is a retread of the original, filling in the gaps hinted at in that movie all with a sprinkling of CGI to enhance the beasties. And that’s pretty much it; which isn’t to say its bad, just basically exactly the same as the original. But it’s kind of neat to see how the things Kurt Russell et al discover came about; even if we didn’t ever need to know in the first place, as the shit-to-fan nature of what happened was pretty evident in the first place. But now we know how the two headed creature came about, as well as the axe in the wall, and the guy at the radios who committed suicide. Unnecessary, but cool to see anyway.
We even have an almost verbatim ‘test’ scene, except instead of a blood test there’s an ‘open your mouth and show us your fillings’ test (the alien can’t copy inorganic tissue, however that does bring up the how does it replicate clothes? plot hole), which much like the blood test, ramps up the tension nicely, and leads into the big effects showcase that continues for the rest of the film.
If there’s one part of the movie I didn’t like it was the last act in which the two remaining characters go inside the alien spaceship. Frankly it’s dumb, and takes away from the ‘realness’ a little bit. When we’re stranded in a snowy outpost it feels real even though there’s a parasitic lifeform assimilating people. Going onboard the alien spacecraft just took me out of the scene.
The whole CGI versus practical effects argument raised in head a lot before The Thing came out but just because the practical effects were so good in the original doesn’t mean the filmmakers had to go down that route again. The CGI beasties for the most part are really impressive with only one truly rubbish effect that brings The Rock Scorpion King to mind (funnily enough, it’s also the last big effect piece, much like The Rock was). And if we’re being honest here, the chest mouth from the original Thing was pretty naff too.
And on the subject of the monsters; if the 1982 Thing’s creatures were ‘holy shit, that is fucked up,’ 2011’s are more ‘holy shit, that is creepy.’ With the surprise element gone, as I figure most going to see this are at least familiar with the original, the filmmakers decided to make them as messed up as possible. And they succeeded. The standout being the French woman’s transformation into a multi limbed T-1000 post grenade lookalike, moaning a horrible moan. Gloriously effed in the head. [see above]
Anyway, The Thing (2011), for what it was, was highly enjoyable. If I had to boil it down to its core elements I’d say it was a slasher prequel to the thriller original.
3 stars
In many ways, a lot of them are. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t without their merits. This years The Thing, a prequel to the 1982 John Carpenter movie of the same name (just to make things extra confusing), was branded as inferior before it was ever released to the public, which is a tad unfair. After seeing it, I can tell you it’s not as good as the original but it’s not exactly a massive shitfest either. In fact, its only crime is that it apes the beats of the first film almost exactly; and let’s not forget that while the original is enjoyable it’s not the greatest movie ever or anything (but then again, it does come from The Decade That Cannot Be Badmouthed but I digress onto a personal pet peeve of mine). And besides, the 1982 movie was a pseudo remake itself, so y’all can get off those mutated multi-limbed high horses.
The new film is a retread of the original, filling in the gaps hinted at in that movie all with a sprinkling of CGI to enhance the beasties. And that’s pretty much it; which isn’t to say its bad, just basically exactly the same as the original. But it’s kind of neat to see how the things Kurt Russell et al discover came about; even if we didn’t ever need to know in the first place, as the shit-to-fan nature of what happened was pretty evident in the first place. But now we know how the two headed creature came about, as well as the axe in the wall, and the guy at the radios who committed suicide. Unnecessary, but cool to see anyway.
We even have an almost verbatim ‘test’ scene, except instead of a blood test there’s an ‘open your mouth and show us your fillings’ test (the alien can’t copy inorganic tissue, however that does bring up the how does it replicate clothes? plot hole), which much like the blood test, ramps up the tension nicely, and leads into the big effects showcase that continues for the rest of the film.
If there’s one part of the movie I didn’t like it was the last act in which the two remaining characters go inside the alien spaceship. Frankly it’s dumb, and takes away from the ‘realness’ a little bit. When we’re stranded in a snowy outpost it feels real even though there’s a parasitic lifeform assimilating people. Going onboard the alien spacecraft just took me out of the scene.
The whole CGI versus practical effects argument raised in head a lot before The Thing came out but just because the practical effects were so good in the original doesn’t mean the filmmakers had to go down that route again. The CGI beasties for the most part are really impressive with only one truly rubbish effect that brings The Rock Scorpion King to mind (funnily enough, it’s also the last big effect piece, much like The Rock was). And if we’re being honest here, the chest mouth from the original Thing was pretty naff too.
And on the subject of the monsters; if the 1982 Thing’s creatures were ‘holy shit, that is fucked up,’ 2011’s are more ‘holy shit, that is creepy.’ With the surprise element gone, as I figure most going to see this are at least familiar with the original, the filmmakers decided to make them as messed up as possible. And they succeeded. The standout being the French woman’s transformation into a multi limbed T-1000 post grenade lookalike, moaning a horrible moan. Gloriously effed in the head. [see above]
Anyway, The Thing (2011), for what it was, was highly enjoyable. If I had to boil it down to its core elements I’d say it was a slasher prequel to the thriller original.
3 stars
Friday 9 December 2011
DVD's for Christmas? What the heck is that?
I can kind of understand how Christmas can be a stressful time of year. You’ve got meals to make, presents to buy and wrap and decorations to put up. Thankfully, I’m a bloke and only really have to worry about that middle one. And even then I don’t have to actually wrap the presents. Apart from my wife’s.
The most stressful part of Christmas for me is choosing the items I want to give as a present to my sister/mum/dad/anyone else that falls into that bracket of not really knowing what they want. The thing is my brain automatically goes to the one item that I think everybody will want, when it’s really just the item I know I’d be the most happy with if no one knew what to get me: DVD’s.
I love a good DVD. It’s probably my favourite thing to receive which is why whenever I’m stuck that’s my go-to gift to buy for someone. Surely if I’d love a DVD they would to, right?
The most stressful part of Christmas for me is choosing the items I want to give as a present to my sister/mum/dad/anyone else that falls into that bracket of not really knowing what they want. The thing is my brain automatically goes to the one item that I think everybody will want, when it’s really just the item I know I’d be the most happy with if no one knew what to get me: DVD’s.
I love a good DVD. It’s probably my favourite thing to receive which is why whenever I’m stuck that’s my go-to gift to buy for someone. Surely if I’d love a DVD they would to, right?
Sadly, not mine.
Well, no. This year, thankfully, I’ve talked myself out of buying DVD’s as presents, (aside from one person, but that’s a boxset and it’s pretty awesome) because I have to remember that not everyone watches DVD’s the way I do. I like to watch and rewatch a lot of the films I own (I’ve lost count how many times I’ve watched Battle Royale or Little Shop of Horrors*); and I know for a fact that my parents and my sister probably wouldn’t. So buying them a DVD is basically a ‘here’s something for you to watch once and never again’ gift. Which frankly, sucks.
You may say ‘it’s the thought that counts.’ And in one way, it is. But in another more accurate way, it’s bollocks. Nobody wants a present they’ll only use once, unless it’s strictly a one use thing, like tickets to a show or edible underwear. If I really wanted to get them a one-watch DVD I’d get them one of those god-awful football foul ups DVD’s that get churned out every Christmas with Danny Dyer. And nobody wants one of those. Not even Danny Dyer. They’re just designed for exactly one viewing, and then get forgotten about by Boxing Day; they are disposable, last minute gifts with no thought put into them at all – “Hmmm, Jonny likes football. Jonny like laughing. He doesn’t like Danny Dyer, but then who does? Let’s get him this funny football DVD.”
"I'm a twat."
You could say the same for stand up DVD’s that there are a lot of around Christmas time, funnily enough. These used to be great gifts, and I have a good many of them (mostly Bill Bailey ones) but these fall into a similar trap as the football DVD’s. Although, you can usually get a few more viewings out of a stand up DVD and if you’re lucky it’ll be a few more years before it shows up on TV, thus rendering your DVD moot.
That said though, it is partly my own fault, as when I can’t think of anything that I want, I normally ask for such a DVD (stand up, not football gaffes) thus further perpetuating the myth that people actually want these for Christmas rather than they couldn’t think of anything else. So, if you’re stuck for a gift to get someone like me (male, 20’s, kinda nerdy), don’t go for the easy option of a stand up DVD; pick something out of leftfield. Go to the world cinema section and do a Countdown (1 from the top, and 5 from anywhere else) and I guarantee you the recipient will be happier with that than with John bloody Bishop.
Best. Countdown. Ever.
I went on a wee off tangent rant there, but I figure I should follow my own advice when buying for those who don’t want another DVD from me on Christmas morning. I should go mad in a gadget shop, enter a random number into the Argos price checker and buy that, pick the first thing I see on Amazon. Surprise them with something they’d never ever have bought themselves.
Like edible underwear.
Of course, if they actually want a DVD, you’re probably better off just buying them one.
Thanks
JC
*didn’t think I’d ever see those two films together in a sentence.
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