So, I've seen quite a lot this year, but as always not nearly as much as I'd of liked, but that's a pitfall many of us fall into. But anyway, here is my review of the year. I've tried to keep the reviews to one line and there'll be links to any movie I've reviewed earlier in the year. Enjoy!
NOTE: Some of these films are not 2011 films, but films I have watched for the first time in 2011. Before y'all start bitching. And it's not a complete list either, there's still time for some 2011 viewing.
The ones in bold are cinema viewings.
The Green Hornet – Better than expected, with a few nice visual flourishes.
Paul – Not bad; funny but not as much as you’d hope.
Sucker Punch – Absolute failure on all levels, aside from eye candy.
Source Code - Fantastic, zippy, timey wimey, sci-fi caper.
Your Highness – Sweary, stoner comedy that runs its one joke into the ground.
Fast Five – Most fun I’ve had in the cinema all year.
Thor – Fun light origin that suffers by being an Avengers set up.
Scream 4 – Ends up doing all the things the original made fun of.
Bridesmaids – hilarious film, with great performances all round.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides – dull fourquel with no excitement or adventure.
Kung Fu Panda 2 – Stunning fight choreography and genuinely affecting story, an improvement on the original in every way.
X-Men First Class – Pace-y, fun origin story with some fantastic action.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon – Big dumb fun, but awful at the same time.
Captain America – see above, re: Thor
Rise of the Planet of the Apes – Excellent reboot with the most sympathetic lead character this year.
The Inbetweeners Movie – Extended episode of the TV series but still reasonably funny.
Contagion – Excellent mood piece with fine performances, and a terrifying plot.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II - fine end to an entertaining franchise.
The Tournament – Ludicrous actioner, but a lot of fun.
Faster – kind of dull, but a nice departure from kiddie movies for The Rock.
Never Let Me Go – fantastic understated British sci-fi film, with a standout lead performance.
Easy A – tries so hard to be uber-hip, but the story never engages.
Megamind – fun first half, loses steam in the second.
Tangled – hugely enjoyable Disney animation, with some truly memorable characters.
In Time – Nice idea, flawed execution but with a solid turn from Timberlake.
Due Date – Coasts on the rep of Galifinakis, but the laughs aren’t there.
Machete – Somehow makes action scenes really dull.
Morning Glory – frothy, predictable, forgettable.
Tron Legacy – Looks and sounds amazing, that’s about it.
Monsters – Not at all what I expected, but a great movie nonetheless.
Let Me In – virtually identical to its Swedish counterpart, but something gets lost in the translation.
Resident Evil: Afterlife – Not as bad as you might think, but still pretty bad.
Buried – Great central performance, but predictable ending.
How to Train Your Dragon – visually sublime, sweet coming of age story. With dragons.
The Social Network – Gripping account of a potentially boring subject.
Batman and Robin - awful, on every level imaginable.
The Expendables – DTV actioner somehow gets A list stars but has Z list thrills.
Black Dynamite – Hilarious highly quotable pastiche of 70’s blaxploitation flicks.
The Other Guys – remarkably laugh free mess.
Date Night – decent enough slightly OTT comedy with likeable leads.
[REC]2 – Just as good sequel to the terrifying original.
Attack the Block - Unremarkable Brit flick, means well but never quite kicks into gear.
Bronson – Blackly comic biopic with an amazing lead performance.
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs – a little too kooky for my liking, but fun while it lasts.
127 Hours – oddly uplifting survival tale with a tour-de-force lead turn.
The Thing – pointless but enjoyable enough remake, with some good monster effects.
Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol – fun actioner with some of the best stunts you’ll see all year.
Games
Marvel Vs Capcom 3 – ADD beat ‘em up, but if you don’t know the combos you’re screwed.
Bulletstorm – Totally mental shooter and a hell of a lot of fun.
Assassins Creed: Brotherhood – yet another AC game but with great new additions (the Assassins Guild) and an ace multiplayer component.
Portal 2 – easily my game of the year.
LA Noire – only just bought this but so far, a dozen or so cases in, it’s brilliant.
LIMBO – haunting puzzle game that sticks in the memory long after the credits roll.
Gears of War 3 – more of the same, but that same is awesome.
Batman: Arkham City – improves on the original in every way, except for the plot.
Battlefield 3 – dull campaign, never got to play the multiplayer (stupid EA online pass)
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 – nothing new, but for top notch gaming thrills, you can’t beat it.
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim – again, only just got it, but it looks ace so far.
Dead Island - creepy open world co-op zombie bashing, so far so good.
Friday 30 December 2011
Thursday 29 December 2011
CINEMA REVIEW: The Thing
Ah, the prequel. A word that has become synonymous with the term ‘inferior cash-in.’
In many ways, a lot of them are. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t without their merits. This years The Thing, a prequel to the 1982 John Carpenter movie of the same name (just to make things extra confusing), was branded as inferior before it was ever released to the public, which is a tad unfair. After seeing it, I can tell you it’s not as good as the original but it’s not exactly a massive shitfest either. In fact, its only crime is that it apes the beats of the first film almost exactly; and let’s not forget that while the original is enjoyable it’s not the greatest movie ever or anything (but then again, it does come from The Decade That Cannot Be Badmouthed but I digress onto a personal pet peeve of mine). And besides, the 1982 movie was a pseudo remake itself, so y’all can get off those mutated multi-limbed high horses.
The new film is a retread of the original, filling in the gaps hinted at in that movie all with a sprinkling of CGI to enhance the beasties. And that’s pretty much it; which isn’t to say its bad, just basically exactly the same as the original. But it’s kind of neat to see how the things Kurt Russell et al discover came about; even if we didn’t ever need to know in the first place, as the shit-to-fan nature of what happened was pretty evident in the first place. But now we know how the two headed creature came about, as well as the axe in the wall, and the guy at the radios who committed suicide. Unnecessary, but cool to see anyway.
We even have an almost verbatim ‘test’ scene, except instead of a blood test there’s an ‘open your mouth and show us your fillings’ test (the alien can’t copy inorganic tissue, however that does bring up the how does it replicate clothes? plot hole), which much like the blood test, ramps up the tension nicely, and leads into the big effects showcase that continues for the rest of the film.
If there’s one part of the movie I didn’t like it was the last act in which the two remaining characters go inside the alien spaceship. Frankly it’s dumb, and takes away from the ‘realness’ a little bit. When we’re stranded in a snowy outpost it feels real even though there’s a parasitic lifeform assimilating people. Going onboard the alien spacecraft just took me out of the scene.
The whole CGI versus practical effects argument raised in head a lot before The Thing came out but just because the practical effects were so good in the original doesn’t mean the filmmakers had to go down that route again. The CGI beasties for the most part are really impressive with only one truly rubbish effect that brings The Rock Scorpion King to mind (funnily enough, it’s also the last big effect piece, much like The Rock was). And if we’re being honest here, the chest mouth from the original Thing was pretty naff too.
And on the subject of the monsters; if the 1982 Thing’s creatures were ‘holy shit, that is fucked up,’ 2011’s are more ‘holy shit, that is creepy.’ With the surprise element gone, as I figure most going to see this are at least familiar with the original, the filmmakers decided to make them as messed up as possible. And they succeeded. The standout being the French woman’s transformation into a multi limbed T-1000 post grenade lookalike, moaning a horrible moan. Gloriously effed in the head. [see above]
Anyway, The Thing (2011), for what it was, was highly enjoyable. If I had to boil it down to its core elements I’d say it was a slasher prequel to the thriller original.
3 stars
In many ways, a lot of them are. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t without their merits. This years The Thing, a prequel to the 1982 John Carpenter movie of the same name (just to make things extra confusing), was branded as inferior before it was ever released to the public, which is a tad unfair. After seeing it, I can tell you it’s not as good as the original but it’s not exactly a massive shitfest either. In fact, its only crime is that it apes the beats of the first film almost exactly; and let’s not forget that while the original is enjoyable it’s not the greatest movie ever or anything (but then again, it does come from The Decade That Cannot Be Badmouthed but I digress onto a personal pet peeve of mine). And besides, the 1982 movie was a pseudo remake itself, so y’all can get off those mutated multi-limbed high horses.
The new film is a retread of the original, filling in the gaps hinted at in that movie all with a sprinkling of CGI to enhance the beasties. And that’s pretty much it; which isn’t to say its bad, just basically exactly the same as the original. But it’s kind of neat to see how the things Kurt Russell et al discover came about; even if we didn’t ever need to know in the first place, as the shit-to-fan nature of what happened was pretty evident in the first place. But now we know how the two headed creature came about, as well as the axe in the wall, and the guy at the radios who committed suicide. Unnecessary, but cool to see anyway.
We even have an almost verbatim ‘test’ scene, except instead of a blood test there’s an ‘open your mouth and show us your fillings’ test (the alien can’t copy inorganic tissue, however that does bring up the how does it replicate clothes? plot hole), which much like the blood test, ramps up the tension nicely, and leads into the big effects showcase that continues for the rest of the film.
If there’s one part of the movie I didn’t like it was the last act in which the two remaining characters go inside the alien spaceship. Frankly it’s dumb, and takes away from the ‘realness’ a little bit. When we’re stranded in a snowy outpost it feels real even though there’s a parasitic lifeform assimilating people. Going onboard the alien spacecraft just took me out of the scene.
The whole CGI versus practical effects argument raised in head a lot before The Thing came out but just because the practical effects were so good in the original doesn’t mean the filmmakers had to go down that route again. The CGI beasties for the most part are really impressive with only one truly rubbish effect that brings The Rock Scorpion King to mind (funnily enough, it’s also the last big effect piece, much like The Rock was). And if we’re being honest here, the chest mouth from the original Thing was pretty naff too.
And on the subject of the monsters; if the 1982 Thing’s creatures were ‘holy shit, that is fucked up,’ 2011’s are more ‘holy shit, that is creepy.’ With the surprise element gone, as I figure most going to see this are at least familiar with the original, the filmmakers decided to make them as messed up as possible. And they succeeded. The standout being the French woman’s transformation into a multi limbed T-1000 post grenade lookalike, moaning a horrible moan. Gloriously effed in the head. [see above]
Anyway, The Thing (2011), for what it was, was highly enjoyable. If I had to boil it down to its core elements I’d say it was a slasher prequel to the thriller original.
3 stars
Friday 9 December 2011
DVD's for Christmas? What the heck is that?
I can kind of understand how Christmas can be a stressful time of year. You’ve got meals to make, presents to buy and wrap and decorations to put up. Thankfully, I’m a bloke and only really have to worry about that middle one. And even then I don’t have to actually wrap the presents. Apart from my wife’s.
The most stressful part of Christmas for me is choosing the items I want to give as a present to my sister/mum/dad/anyone else that falls into that bracket of not really knowing what they want. The thing is my brain automatically goes to the one item that I think everybody will want, when it’s really just the item I know I’d be the most happy with if no one knew what to get me: DVD’s.
I love a good DVD. It’s probably my favourite thing to receive which is why whenever I’m stuck that’s my go-to gift to buy for someone. Surely if I’d love a DVD they would to, right?
The most stressful part of Christmas for me is choosing the items I want to give as a present to my sister/mum/dad/anyone else that falls into that bracket of not really knowing what they want. The thing is my brain automatically goes to the one item that I think everybody will want, when it’s really just the item I know I’d be the most happy with if no one knew what to get me: DVD’s.
I love a good DVD. It’s probably my favourite thing to receive which is why whenever I’m stuck that’s my go-to gift to buy for someone. Surely if I’d love a DVD they would to, right?
Sadly, not mine.
Well, no. This year, thankfully, I’ve talked myself out of buying DVD’s as presents, (aside from one person, but that’s a boxset and it’s pretty awesome) because I have to remember that not everyone watches DVD’s the way I do. I like to watch and rewatch a lot of the films I own (I’ve lost count how many times I’ve watched Battle Royale or Little Shop of Horrors*); and I know for a fact that my parents and my sister probably wouldn’t. So buying them a DVD is basically a ‘here’s something for you to watch once and never again’ gift. Which frankly, sucks.
You may say ‘it’s the thought that counts.’ And in one way, it is. But in another more accurate way, it’s bollocks. Nobody wants a present they’ll only use once, unless it’s strictly a one use thing, like tickets to a show or edible underwear. If I really wanted to get them a one-watch DVD I’d get them one of those god-awful football foul ups DVD’s that get churned out every Christmas with Danny Dyer. And nobody wants one of those. Not even Danny Dyer. They’re just designed for exactly one viewing, and then get forgotten about by Boxing Day; they are disposable, last minute gifts with no thought put into them at all – “Hmmm, Jonny likes football. Jonny like laughing. He doesn’t like Danny Dyer, but then who does? Let’s get him this funny football DVD.”
"I'm a twat."
You could say the same for stand up DVD’s that there are a lot of around Christmas time, funnily enough. These used to be great gifts, and I have a good many of them (mostly Bill Bailey ones) but these fall into a similar trap as the football DVD’s. Although, you can usually get a few more viewings out of a stand up DVD and if you’re lucky it’ll be a few more years before it shows up on TV, thus rendering your DVD moot.
That said though, it is partly my own fault, as when I can’t think of anything that I want, I normally ask for such a DVD (stand up, not football gaffes) thus further perpetuating the myth that people actually want these for Christmas rather than they couldn’t think of anything else. So, if you’re stuck for a gift to get someone like me (male, 20’s, kinda nerdy), don’t go for the easy option of a stand up DVD; pick something out of leftfield. Go to the world cinema section and do a Countdown (1 from the top, and 5 from anywhere else) and I guarantee you the recipient will be happier with that than with John bloody Bishop.
Best. Countdown. Ever.
I went on a wee off tangent rant there, but I figure I should follow my own advice when buying for those who don’t want another DVD from me on Christmas morning. I should go mad in a gadget shop, enter a random number into the Argos price checker and buy that, pick the first thing I see on Amazon. Surprise them with something they’d never ever have bought themselves.
Like edible underwear.
Of course, if they actually want a DVD, you’re probably better off just buying them one.
Thanks
JC
*didn’t think I’d ever see those two films together in a sentence.
Friday 11 November 2011
Thom Yorke: Pretentious
A wee while ago I wrote an album review. It’s not something I do very often, but I prefaced the actual review with my reasoning for not liking music reviews in general. I’ll not repeat it, but you can read it here - http://jcthefirst.blogspot.com/2011/10/album-review-noel-gallaghers-high.html
However, despite all the pretentiousness of album reviews and music magazines in general, sometimes it’s the artists themselves that are the guiltiest of it. And even without having read the following quote, I reckon most people would consider Thom Yorke to be at least at little pretentious. I mean, just listen to the albums if you don’t believe me. Don’t get me wrong, they’re great albums (well, some of them) but you can’t deny Thom is a pretentious fella.
So, for me, anyone that spews this kind of bollocks doesn’t deserve to actually ever speak about his own songs ever again.
"'Street Spirit' is our purest song, but I didn't write it. It wrote itself. We were just its messengers; its biological catalysts. Its core is a complete mystery to me, and, you know, I wouldn't ever try to write something that hopeless. All of our saddest songs have somewhere in them at least a glimmer of resolve. 'Street Spirit' has no resolve. It is the dark tunnel without the light at the end. It represents all tragic emotion that is so hurtful that the sound of that melody is its only definition. We all have a way of dealing with that song. It's called detachment. Especially me; I detach my emotional radar from that song, or I couldn't play it. I'd crack. I'd break down on stage. That's why its lyrics are just a bunch of mini-stories or visual images as opposed to a cohesive explanation of its meaning. I used images set to the music that I thought would convey the emotional entirety of the lyric and music working together. That's what's meant by 'all these things you'll one day swallow whole'. I meant the emotional entirety, because I didn't have it in me to articulate the emotion. I'd crack...
Our fans are braver than I to let that song penetrate them, or maybe they don't realise what they're listening to. They don't realise that 'Street Spirit' is about staring the fucking devil right in the eyes, and knowing, no matter what the hell you do, he'll get the last laugh. And it's real, and true. The devil really will get the last laugh in all cases without exception, and if I let myself think about that too long, I'd crack.
I can't believe we have fans that can deal emotionally with that song. That's why I'm convinced that they don't know what it's about. It's why we play it towards the end of our sets. It drains me, and it shakes me, and hurts like hell every time I play it, looking out at thousands of people cheering and smiling, oblivious to the tragedy of its meaning, like when you're going to have your dog put down and it's wagging its tail on the way there. That's what they all look like, and it breaks my heart. I wish that song hadn't picked us as its catalysts, and so I don't claim it. It asks too much. I didn't write that song."
Fuck off, Thom. You wrote a great song that sounds a little depressing. Get over it.
And yourself.
After all that I feel this little comic sums it up even better.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyLmJeTmvB8r5sY0Bngek8gtnxc0OcDl7KkASZh2XoIOJ1RyUcq_hjzmpD34oSGnUJVjj2sRjH8Sxk1jNiapWn0Cq7h6-52sAcPrMAlCn7nmVktrB-4xs2reb8dvpSihD5slZmBD2w2yw/s1600/1289656223384.png
However, despite all the pretentiousness of album reviews and music magazines in general, sometimes it’s the artists themselves that are the guiltiest of it. And even without having read the following quote, I reckon most people would consider Thom Yorke to be at least at little pretentious. I mean, just listen to the albums if you don’t believe me. Don’t get me wrong, they’re great albums (well, some of them) but you can’t deny Thom is a pretentious fella.
So, for me, anyone that spews this kind of bollocks doesn’t deserve to actually ever speak about his own songs ever again.
"'Street Spirit' is our purest song, but I didn't write it. It wrote itself. We were just its messengers; its biological catalysts. Its core is a complete mystery to me, and, you know, I wouldn't ever try to write something that hopeless. All of our saddest songs have somewhere in them at least a glimmer of resolve. 'Street Spirit' has no resolve. It is the dark tunnel without the light at the end. It represents all tragic emotion that is so hurtful that the sound of that melody is its only definition. We all have a way of dealing with that song. It's called detachment. Especially me; I detach my emotional radar from that song, or I couldn't play it. I'd crack. I'd break down on stage. That's why its lyrics are just a bunch of mini-stories or visual images as opposed to a cohesive explanation of its meaning. I used images set to the music that I thought would convey the emotional entirety of the lyric and music working together. That's what's meant by 'all these things you'll one day swallow whole'. I meant the emotional entirety, because I didn't have it in me to articulate the emotion. I'd crack...
Our fans are braver than I to let that song penetrate them, or maybe they don't realise what they're listening to. They don't realise that 'Street Spirit' is about staring the fucking devil right in the eyes, and knowing, no matter what the hell you do, he'll get the last laugh. And it's real, and true. The devil really will get the last laugh in all cases without exception, and if I let myself think about that too long, I'd crack.
I can't believe we have fans that can deal emotionally with that song. That's why I'm convinced that they don't know what it's about. It's why we play it towards the end of our sets. It drains me, and it shakes me, and hurts like hell every time I play it, looking out at thousands of people cheering and smiling, oblivious to the tragedy of its meaning, like when you're going to have your dog put down and it's wagging its tail on the way there. That's what they all look like, and it breaks my heart. I wish that song hadn't picked us as its catalysts, and so I don't claim it. It asks too much. I didn't write that song."
Fuck off, Thom. You wrote a great song that sounds a little depressing. Get over it.
And yourself.
After all that I feel this little comic sums it up even better.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyLmJeTmvB8r5sY0Bngek8gtnxc0OcDl7KkASZh2XoIOJ1RyUcq_hjzmpD34oSGnUJVjj2sRjH8Sxk1jNiapWn0Cq7h6-52sAcPrMAlCn7nmVktrB-4xs2reb8dvpSihD5slZmBD2w2yw/s1600/1289656223384.png
And besides, The Bends is your best album. After that, it all went downhill and people are just kidding themselves that your albums are still good.
Here's a wee funny Thom gif to let you know he's not all bad. It really makes me smile.
JC
Monday 7 November 2011
GAME REVIEW - Batman: Arkham City
Back in 2009, Arkham Asylum was released and was easily the best Batman game there had ever been (not hard), and was possibly the best game of that year (slightly harder). With the weight of expectation for a sequel that was just as good, developers Rocksteady were under a lot of pressure. Thankfully with Arkham City, they’ve created a game that is every bit as good as its predecessor.
Starting off with Bruce Wayne getting thrown into Arkham City, a slice of Gotham cordoned off and being used as a prison, you have to escape from Hugo Strange, suit up and get to the bottom of whatever the not-so-good doctor is up to. Eventually you find out he’s up to something called Protocol 10, but this main campaign strand is only one small part of the game, which has so much more to offer.
Essentially, City is exactly the same as Asylum only in a bigger playground. While it adds nothing completely new gameplay wise, the open world is a nice touch meaning you don’t have to do the story missions until you want to, and can just fly about the city beating up thugs and solving the riddles that have been scattered about the city. With the bigger game world, Rocksteady have room to add pretty much every Batman villain you could think of; all the big hitters are present (Joker, Penguin, Two Face) as well as some 2nd tier Batman villains (Mad Hatter, Zsasz, Deadshot) and each of these villains have their own distinct missions for you to complete. These extra side missions add hours of extra gameplay that you can complete or choose to ignore. Many times though, these missions are far more enjoyable (and harder) than the main game. The Riddler challenges are back as well, and form the biggest non-campaign part of the game. There are about 3 times as many as there were in Arkham Asylum, and they’re a lot harder as well. In fact this time, the Riddler has captured some hostages this time and it’s up to you to save them by solving a series of his puzzles. These quite often were my favourite parts of the game, having a different flavour than just punching a whole load of guys.
But punching a whole load of guys is still awesome fun, by the way.
Also, included in all new copies of Arkham City is a downloadable code for some Catwoman side missions which are intercut into the game’s plot at certain points. This adds another few hours of gameplay as well as new Riddler trophies to find as Catwoman. It’s a nice change of pace to play as another character every now and again, and certain missions as Catwoman are easily better and more fun than some of those you play as Bats.
The fighting mechanics are the same as they were before, but which some extra moves and gadgets thrown in as well all with easy quick fire button commands which enables you to use them in combat without ever losing your combo. Thankfully Batman has all of the gadgets he spent so long trying to get in Asylum, so at the start of the game you have all your tools at your disposal.
With the bigger playing area traversing the city quickly is a necessity, and there are some new gliding mechanics designed to make flying about Arkham City as fluid as possible, especially when you combine it with your grapple hook. In fact, if you perfect it you can get around the whole city without ever having to touch the ground although it is a lot of fun dive bombing from a great height and scaring the crap out of a group of thugs, before knocking the crap out of them. The city itself is beautifully realised with familiar locations scattered about (Crime Alley is there as well, and it contains a quite frankly lovely moment) as well as buildings that can be (and in most cases have to be) explored. In fact, just as with the first the greatest triumph of this game is that it really makes you feel like the world’s greatest detective. And that’s all I ask of it really.
If I had one complaint, and it’s a silly one really, it’s that it doesn’t feel as fresh as Arkham Asylum, and there are no real surprises like the Scarecrow sections (although Ra’s Al Ghul’s demon trials and the Lazarus Pit come close) but as a sequel it’s going to be hard to do that without changing everything that made the first game so special.
So, in conclusion, a worthy sequel to one of 2009’s best games and one of this year’s best as well.
4 stars
Starting off with Bruce Wayne getting thrown into Arkham City, a slice of Gotham cordoned off and being used as a prison, you have to escape from Hugo Strange, suit up and get to the bottom of whatever the not-so-good doctor is up to. Eventually you find out he’s up to something called Protocol 10, but this main campaign strand is only one small part of the game, which has so much more to offer.
Essentially, City is exactly the same as Asylum only in a bigger playground. While it adds nothing completely new gameplay wise, the open world is a nice touch meaning you don’t have to do the story missions until you want to, and can just fly about the city beating up thugs and solving the riddles that have been scattered about the city. With the bigger game world, Rocksteady have room to add pretty much every Batman villain you could think of; all the big hitters are present (Joker, Penguin, Two Face) as well as some 2nd tier Batman villains (Mad Hatter, Zsasz, Deadshot) and each of these villains have their own distinct missions for you to complete. These extra side missions add hours of extra gameplay that you can complete or choose to ignore. Many times though, these missions are far more enjoyable (and harder) than the main game. The Riddler challenges are back as well, and form the biggest non-campaign part of the game. There are about 3 times as many as there were in Arkham Asylum, and they’re a lot harder as well. In fact this time, the Riddler has captured some hostages this time and it’s up to you to save them by solving a series of his puzzles. These quite often were my favourite parts of the game, having a different flavour than just punching a whole load of guys.
But punching a whole load of guys is still awesome fun, by the way.
Also, included in all new copies of Arkham City is a downloadable code for some Catwoman side missions which are intercut into the game’s plot at certain points. This adds another few hours of gameplay as well as new Riddler trophies to find as Catwoman. It’s a nice change of pace to play as another character every now and again, and certain missions as Catwoman are easily better and more fun than some of those you play as Bats.
The fighting mechanics are the same as they were before, but which some extra moves and gadgets thrown in as well all with easy quick fire button commands which enables you to use them in combat without ever losing your combo. Thankfully Batman has all of the gadgets he spent so long trying to get in Asylum, so at the start of the game you have all your tools at your disposal.
With the bigger playing area traversing the city quickly is a necessity, and there are some new gliding mechanics designed to make flying about Arkham City as fluid as possible, especially when you combine it with your grapple hook. In fact, if you perfect it you can get around the whole city without ever having to touch the ground although it is a lot of fun dive bombing from a great height and scaring the crap out of a group of thugs, before knocking the crap out of them. The city itself is beautifully realised with familiar locations scattered about (Crime Alley is there as well, and it contains a quite frankly lovely moment) as well as buildings that can be (and in most cases have to be) explored. In fact, just as with the first the greatest triumph of this game is that it really makes you feel like the world’s greatest detective. And that’s all I ask of it really.
If I had one complaint, and it’s a silly one really, it’s that it doesn’t feel as fresh as Arkham Asylum, and there are no real surprises like the Scarecrow sections (although Ra’s Al Ghul’s demon trials and the Lazarus Pit come close) but as a sequel it’s going to be hard to do that without changing everything that made the first game so special.
So, in conclusion, a worthy sequel to one of 2009’s best games and one of this year’s best as well.
4 stars
GAME REVIEW: LIMBO
[This short (but brilliant) game shall be getting a short (and hopefully brilliant) review.]Games very rarely astound me.
Games very rarely astound me for reasons I cannot explain.
LIMBO astounded me.
I cannot explain why.
No cut scenes, no explanation, no words, no instructions. Just you, an impressively realised black and white world and some of the best sound design I’ve ever witnessed.
You start the game waking up in what looks like a forest, you walk right, you have a lot of different and treacherous terrain to cross and only the environment around you to help you. Or kill you. You’re looking for your lost sister. Everything else wants to kill you, for reasons unknown.
The joy of LIMBO is that it doesn’t ever treat you like an idiot. There are no hints or tips on how to progress; you just have to work it out for yourself using the environment. And if you get stuck, well, just keep trying. The solution is there, you’re just too dumb to see it. The only other game I could compare it to is Portal, which is kind of similar with all the puzzle elements, but at the same time it’s nothing like Portal.
It’s very rare a game offers up no definite resolution. Without spoiling anything, I’m still thinking about the end of LIMBO three days after completing it. There are a lot of theories on what the game world of LIMBO actually is, and what actually happened throughout the game, but I was incredibly impressed with the bold ending and its implications when you consider it in the context of the entire game. So, an existentialist game that causes you to think, as well as solving a series of devilishly difficult puzzles.
And it has a giant spider. Aces.
To paraphrase Morpheus, you cannot be told what LIMBO is. You have to play it for yourself.
5 stars, easily.
Movie Sunday/Sundae
So, yesterday, I decided I was going to watch a few movies that I'd been planning on watching but for whatever reason had been putting off, on what I have christened Movie Sunday/Sundae. Here's my thoughts on them:
And while it doesn’t reach the heights of the first, it’s still a solid entry into what I hope will become a strong franchise ([REC]’s 3 and 4 have already been greenlit). The story picks up minutes after the first ended as we follow a group of heavily armed soldiers entering the building to find out what’s the hell is going on. Cleverly, instead of following one camera for the whole movie, each of the soldiers has a little headcam so we get lots of different viewpoints throughout the film, whether it’s following a soldier as he crawls through a vent (terrifying, by the way) or watching the other soldiers patch in to a missing soldier’s headcam to find out where he is.
However, it does add some story elements that, while expanding the universe, make it a little less believable. In the first, everything just seemed so random, shit-hitting-the-fan for no reason. In this the outbreak is explained away as almost a conspiracy; a conspiracy involving the Vatican(!). It loses some of the realness that the first had. And the whole night vision revelation is a little too far fetched for my liking.
However, it’s still scary and it’s still awesome, with a killer/disgusting last scene that makes me hungry for the next installment.
4 stars
Catfish
If you’ve seen the trailer for this, you’re probably expecting an unsuspecting man to become friends with a girl on Facebook, who then flies out to meet her only to discover she, and her family, are a bunch of serial killers or something.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Well, actually it is mostly true. Apart from the serial killer part. A young photographer (Nev) meets a little 8 year old girl on Facebook after she has been sending him her paintings of some of his photos , and begins corresponding with the girl herself, her mother and her attractive sister (see below). As time goes on, an almost romance blossoms between Nev and the sister, entirely via Facebook, telephone, text and email. When Nev discovers some discrepancies in what his online ‘girlfriend’ has been telling him, he flies out to meet her. And that’s when things get really interesting.
I’ll not say anything more so as not to gave the game away, but this documentary is a great insight into the power (and perils) of the internet, and one that will have you constantly changing your mind about the people involved right up until the end.
4 stars
Attack the Block
The directorial debut of Joe Cornish (of Adam and Joe fame) set in a council tower block which comes under attack from aliens was a bit of a mixed bag for me. There were a few things I liked about it, but at the same time there were a lot of things that brought it down.
Firstly the good. I loved loved loved the design of the aliens; just pure black with rows of luminous teeth. An inspired design, and while never out and out scary they make a lasting impression, like a furrier version of the xenomorph, all teeth and no eyes.
However I could not enjoy the film wholly, due to the fact that the main characters are such scumbags for most of the running time. When you introduce your characters by showing them mugging a woman you have to do a hell of a lot throughout the movie to make them seem like redeemable characters. The leader of the gang, Moses, while having somewhat of a redemptive arc during the movie didn’t really have enough of one to convince me that this guy is the hero, and that I should be rooting for him.
Reviewers have noted that the film has some scathing social commentary within it. Well sorry, but when the only social commentary is “some hoodies are just products of their environment and not really that bad” it’s not enough for me. Especially when at the end, it doesn’t seem as though Moses has changed any. Just that he saved the day after feeling guilty for causing some of the deaths of his friends; if anything, to me, the film suggests that he’ll not change at all with the residents of the block (who didn’t all know about the aliens) basically cheering him on for blowing up his flat and for being arrested by the police.
I also didn’t think the film was as funny or as scary as it was advertised as being. I can forgive it for not being funny, as that seemed like the marketing people advertised it as such, not really a fault of the film. But it wasn’t scary either which I believe was to be the point of it.
So overall, it’s a technically accomplished film with fine performances, but ultimately for me kind of a hollow experience, blud.
2 stars
[REC]2
I loved the first [REC]. When I saw it for the first time almost 2 years ago, it was probably the scariest movie I’d seen for a long time. My dad will probably agree with me. I bought the sequel the day it came out.
I loved the first [REC]. When I saw it for the first time almost 2 years ago, it was probably the scariest movie I’d seen for a long time. My dad will probably agree with me. I bought the sequel the day it came out.
And while it doesn’t reach the heights of the first, it’s still a solid entry into what I hope will become a strong franchise ([REC]’s 3 and 4 have already been greenlit). The story picks up minutes after the first ended as we follow a group of heavily armed soldiers entering the building to find out what’s the hell is going on. Cleverly, instead of following one camera for the whole movie, each of the soldiers has a little headcam so we get lots of different viewpoints throughout the film, whether it’s following a soldier as he crawls through a vent (terrifying, by the way) or watching the other soldiers patch in to a missing soldier’s headcam to find out where he is.However, it does add some story elements that, while expanding the universe, make it a little less believable. In the first, everything just seemed so random, shit-hitting-the-fan for no reason. In this the outbreak is explained away as almost a conspiracy; a conspiracy involving the Vatican(!). It loses some of the realness that the first had. And the whole night vision revelation is a little too far fetched for my liking.
However, it’s still scary and it’s still awesome, with a killer/disgusting last scene that makes me hungry for the next installment.
4 stars
Catfish
If you’ve seen the trailer for this, you’re probably expecting an unsuspecting man to become friends with a girl on Facebook, who then flies out to meet her only to discover she, and her family, are a bunch of serial killers or something.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Well, actually it is mostly true. Apart from the serial killer part. A young photographer (Nev) meets a little 8 year old girl on Facebook after she has been sending him her paintings of some of his photos , and begins corresponding with the girl herself, her mother and her attractive sister (see below). As time goes on, an almost romance blossoms between Nev and the sister, entirely via Facebook, telephone, text and email. When Nev discovers some discrepancies in what his online ‘girlfriend’ has been telling him, he flies out to meet her. And that’s when things get really interesting.
I’ll not say anything more so as not to gave the game away, but this documentary is a great insight into the power (and perils) of the internet, and one that will have you constantly changing your mind about the people involved right up until the end.
4 stars
Attack the Block
The directorial debut of Joe Cornish (of Adam and Joe fame) set in a council tower block which comes under attack from aliens was a bit of a mixed bag for me. There were a few things I liked about it, but at the same time there were a lot of things that brought it down.
Firstly the good. I loved loved loved the design of the aliens; just pure black with rows of luminous teeth. An inspired design, and while never out and out scary they make a lasting impression, like a furrier version of the xenomorph, all teeth and no eyes.
However I could not enjoy the film wholly, due to the fact that the main characters are such scumbags for most of the running time. When you introduce your characters by showing them mugging a woman you have to do a hell of a lot throughout the movie to make them seem like redeemable characters. The leader of the gang, Moses, while having somewhat of a redemptive arc during the movie didn’t really have enough of one to convince me that this guy is the hero, and that I should be rooting for him.
Reviewers have noted that the film has some scathing social commentary within it. Well sorry, but when the only social commentary is “some hoodies are just products of their environment and not really that bad” it’s not enough for me. Especially when at the end, it doesn’t seem as though Moses has changed any. Just that he saved the day after feeling guilty for causing some of the deaths of his friends; if anything, to me, the film suggests that he’ll not change at all with the residents of the block (who didn’t all know about the aliens) basically cheering him on for blowing up his flat and for being arrested by the police.
I also didn’t think the film was as funny or as scary as it was advertised as being. I can forgive it for not being funny, as that seemed like the marketing people advertised it as such, not really a fault of the film. But it wasn’t scary either which I believe was to be the point of it.
So overall, it’s a technically accomplished film with fine performances, but ultimately for me kind of a hollow experience, blud.
2 stars
Anyway, I hope to do another Sundae next week.
Bye, JC.
Thursday 20 October 2011
ALBUM REVIEW: Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
I always find music reviews to be kind of pretentious. I used to buy Q a lot in my younger days when I was trying to pretend like I was all knowledgeable about music. I never really read much of it, because I figured buying it was enough.
“Do you read Q?”
“Why yes. Yes, I do.”
…as I sipped my tea, and looked down my nose at fans of pop music.
But even then, I recognised that their album reviews always seemed to be pretentious, and snooty. They had the air of snobbishness to them, like if you didn’t know all the songs that a particular artist was making reference to; you weren’t enjoying the album properly. And I hated that. It’s not like the album is a sequel that you need to have the entire back catalogue of the band, to enjoy this new album.
I also hated the dissection of the lyrics, as if the reviewer is peering into the soul of the artist. Or is writing an essay on the poetry of Robert Frost. I have no doubt that there are songwriters that spend hours on their deep and meaningful lyrics and that’s great. But I don’t look at an album as a window into the soul of a tortured artist. I look at an album as a (hopefully) great collection of songs that I can sing along to and will do for years to come.
And so, with that in mind, here’s my first ever review of an album: Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds.
It’s great.
THE END
Ok, not really.
But it is a brilliant record. It’s really just a collection of slightly different Noel songs that he was knocking out as Oasis tracks for the best part of the last 20 years, but by jove they’re good. Freed from the Oasis sound, it sounds at once familiar but pleasingly different. If anything, it sounds like a transitional record; one to bridge the gap between his past and any future albums that may come, and perhaps a little afraid to stray too far from the successful previous formula, but it goes (just) far enough that it doesn’t just sound like some abandoned recordings from an Oasis session, although there are some familiar riffs in there (I heard the beginning of Wonderwall at one point).
At the end of the day though, this is an album I was destined to at least like, and at best, love. And love it I do.
4 stars
****
“Do you read Q?”
“Why yes. Yes, I do.”
…as I sipped my tea, and looked down my nose at fans of pop music.
But even then, I recognised that their album reviews always seemed to be pretentious, and snooty. They had the air of snobbishness to them, like if you didn’t know all the songs that a particular artist was making reference to; you weren’t enjoying the album properly. And I hated that. It’s not like the album is a sequel that you need to have the entire back catalogue of the band, to enjoy this new album.
I also hated the dissection of the lyrics, as if the reviewer is peering into the soul of the artist. Or is writing an essay on the poetry of Robert Frost. I have no doubt that there are songwriters that spend hours on their deep and meaningful lyrics and that’s great. But I don’t look at an album as a window into the soul of a tortured artist. I look at an album as a (hopefully) great collection of songs that I can sing along to and will do for years to come.
And so, with that in mind, here’s my first ever review of an album: Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds.
It’s great.
THE END
Ok, not really.
But it is a brilliant record. It’s really just a collection of slightly different Noel songs that he was knocking out as Oasis tracks for the best part of the last 20 years, but by jove they’re good. Freed from the Oasis sound, it sounds at once familiar but pleasingly different. If anything, it sounds like a transitional record; one to bridge the gap between his past and any future albums that may come, and perhaps a little afraid to stray too far from the successful previous formula, but it goes (just) far enough that it doesn’t just sound like some abandoned recordings from an Oasis session, although there are some familiar riffs in there (I heard the beginning of Wonderwall at one point).
At the end of the day though, this is an album I was destined to at least like, and at best, love. And love it I do.
4 stars
****
Friday 16 September 2011
DVD REVIEW: Sucker Punch
The trailer for this promised so much. Hot girls in skimpy costumes kicking all kinds of arse. I could get on board with that; a simple, escape flick with added T‘n’A. But that’s not what I got.
That’s not what anyone got.
Instead, we have a convoluted mess of a plot, where the action scenes are dull and by the end you don’t know what just happened. The story such as it is, involves Babydoll getting sent to an asylum (maybe) by her abusive stepfather after wrongly being accused of killing her sister, and in five days she will be lobotomised so as she doesn’t tell anyone the truth. So, to counter the horrible reality of being in an asylum, where they are abused by the misogynistic male staff, Babydoll imagines that she’s actually in a brothel, where they are sold to lecherous men, and abused by the misogynistic male staff. So, imagining a shitty situation to replace the shitty situation you’re currently in. Great, makes no sense. And then when she’s trying to steal the items she needs to escape, she imagines that she’s in various different worlds, when in the brothel reality she’s dancing for the bosses, and in the actual reality (or maybe not) she’s using her imagination to think that she’s dancing when she’s really being abused. Still with me? Good.
At least I think that’s what was happening. The film never clearly tells you, not that I expect any film to explicitly state it’s intention, but this one is just so deliberately obtuse and vague that it makes you wonder if the writer knew what the actual point of his movie was. For example, I like to think Inception has a definite interpretation, even if we never know for sure what it is, it’s seems as though Chris Nolan does have a definitive answer for the whole movie. Sucker Punch just seems to throw a whole bunch of things together with no real coherence and it seems as though they thought it would inspire debate as to what was real and what wasn’t (a la Inception) but come the credits, you’re still no surer of what the writer’s end game was.
Still, at least there was some great action, right? Well, sort of. While I liked the idea of the action being a figment of Babydoll’s mind, by the time we actually to some, it was so bogged down in plot mechanics that I didn’t care. And it’s not as though the plot was difficult; it basically came down to steal 5 things then escape, but it took about 5 minutes for this to be explained to Babydoll. However, the WW2 trenches, with (get this) steam powered clockwork Nazi zombies was, while mental, a very good action sequence, as was the fight on the train, and the one with the dragon. But when these scenes are all part of someone’s imagination, they may look cool, but there are no real stakes. You never think anyone is in danger, despite what is happening in the fantasy is also happening (in a more mundane way) in the real/brothel world; for example, Rocket being stabbed to save her sister, is mirrored in the fantasy as her being blown up after saving her sister by activating her jet pack (seriously). I will say however, that these sequences looked amazing. Visually spectacular, but emotionally hollow. Which sums up most of Zack Snyder’s work really, except this time it didn’t work. Sorry Zack.
That’s not what anyone got.
Instead, we have a convoluted mess of a plot, where the action scenes are dull and by the end you don’t know what just happened. The story such as it is, involves Babydoll getting sent to an asylum (maybe) by her abusive stepfather after wrongly being accused of killing her sister, and in five days she will be lobotomised so as she doesn’t tell anyone the truth. So, to counter the horrible reality of being in an asylum, where they are abused by the misogynistic male staff, Babydoll imagines that she’s actually in a brothel, where they are sold to lecherous men, and abused by the misogynistic male staff. So, imagining a shitty situation to replace the shitty situation you’re currently in. Great, makes no sense. And then when she’s trying to steal the items she needs to escape, she imagines that she’s in various different worlds, when in the brothel reality she’s dancing for the bosses, and in the actual reality (or maybe not) she’s using her imagination to think that she’s dancing when she’s really being abused. Still with me? Good.
At least I think that’s what was happening. The film never clearly tells you, not that I expect any film to explicitly state it’s intention, but this one is just so deliberately obtuse and vague that it makes you wonder if the writer knew what the actual point of his movie was. For example, I like to think Inception has a definite interpretation, even if we never know for sure what it is, it’s seems as though Chris Nolan does have a definitive answer for the whole movie. Sucker Punch just seems to throw a whole bunch of things together with no real coherence and it seems as though they thought it would inspire debate as to what was real and what wasn’t (a la Inception) but come the credits, you’re still no surer of what the writer’s end game was.
Still, at least there was some great action, right? Well, sort of. While I liked the idea of the action being a figment of Babydoll’s mind, by the time we actually to some, it was so bogged down in plot mechanics that I didn’t care. And it’s not as though the plot was difficult; it basically came down to steal 5 things then escape, but it took about 5 minutes for this to be explained to Babydoll. However, the WW2 trenches, with (get this) steam powered clockwork Nazi zombies was, while mental, a very good action sequence, as was the fight on the train, and the one with the dragon. But when these scenes are all part of someone’s imagination, they may look cool, but there are no real stakes. You never think anyone is in danger, despite what is happening in the fantasy is also happening (in a more mundane way) in the real/brothel world; for example, Rocket being stabbed to save her sister, is mirrored in the fantasy as her being blown up after saving her sister by activating her jet pack (seriously). I will say however, that these sequences looked amazing. Visually spectacular, but emotionally hollow. Which sums up most of Zack Snyder’s work really, except this time it didn’t work. Sorry Zack.
(Seriously, he made this boring)
So, overall Sucker Punch is a bit of a mess really. It confuses intrigue with vagueness, and comes of stupid when it trying oh so hard to be clever. And there’s a female empowerment subtext running throughout, which never really convinces and only seems there as some sort of justification for dressing its heroines the way it does, by making them male fantasies but at the same time fighting the power/male objectification as it were.
And I haven’t even mentioned that perhaps Babydoll isn’t actually the protagonist, which throws a whole new set of problems into the mix.
Who’d of thought you could make a movie with hot girls wearing next to nothing fighting monsters so boring?
1 star.
Thursday 1 September 2011
FLASHBACK MOVIE REVIEW: Batman and Robin
I have three words that sum up this ungodly experience and which exemplify just how far this once mighty franchise has fallen since the heady days of 1989’s Batman, and those three words are: Bat Credit Card.
Let me say that again just to let it sink in: A Bat Credit Card.
About halfway through the movie Batman and Robin get into a bidding war (they’re at a charity event, don’t ask) over Poison Ivy. They outbid each other until Batman bids a huge amount and whips out his Batman Credit Card from his utility belt, all but looking to the camera saying “Don’t leave home without it.”
I felt like throwing up.
By the way, the expiry date on said credit card is Forever. Which aside from making no sense (so it’s always expired?) is just downright retarded and insulting to the audience. Which is how I would sum up the entire damn movie.
It’s not even the garish set design or the Bat-nipples that upset me most, although they are completely hideous. Seriously Gotham is constantly bathed in neon light, and there are massive Adonis-like statues all over the place. And don’t get me started on the structure of the city, which literally makes no sense. Gotham is meant to be dark and gothic as it was in the first two Batman films, not a multi-coloured MC Escher inspired gay bar.
And the Batsuit, a suit supposed to be designed for stealth and to strike fear into the hearts of criminals, is, in the final act, made sort of metallic in nature. You could practically see your face in it. The there’s the Batmobile. Oh lord, the Batmobile. It resembles a ribbed fluorescent condom on wheels.
The whole thing is so camp it makes the 60’s Batman with its “POW! BIFF! SHONK” antics seem almost Kubrickian.
But I can almost forgive these things, if the movie itself were any good. But it’s really not. There is no subtlety in the whole thing, everything happens in big loud moments with absolutely no attempt to make anything resemble actual dialogue. Arnie’s Mr Freeze doesn’t say anything in the movie that isn’t a terrible ice/cold/snow/winter pun and it’s easily the worst performance of his not exactly glittering career, leading us to believe that maybe his best performances are the ones where he doesn’t say much (see: The Terminator). George Clooney makes a mess of both Wayne and Bats. His Wayne is a perma-smirking (although that could just be Clooney’s face) asshole, and his Bats (like Freeze) just speaks in terrible puns for the most part. Chris O’Donnell is just as awful as he was in Batman Forever, and a plot strand about him leaving Batman to be his own hero is dropped as quickly as it starts rendering him pointless. Alicia Silverstone’s apparently English (though you wouldn’t know it) niece of Alfred’s is just there to eventually don a Bat suit of her own come the end, which despite no training in the Bat-gadgets can use them all really well. Seriously, no-one questions this. In fact, only Uma Thurman comes out of this with any dignity. Her Poison Ivy is actually quite fun and works in the campy context of the movie.
The action, if you can call it that, is terrible and consists mostly of Batman and Robin fighting Freeze’s goons on ice. Seriously, when is ice skating ever exciting? All other action is either Batman punching Freeze or Bane (oh, poor Bane) in the face, with both of these characters being so huge it doesn’t look as if they actually feel any punches at all. Freeze in particular doesn’t look like he can move at all in his ice suit much less fight.
In fact, there is nothing in the movie that isn’t completely over the top; if there’s a wall, someone will smash through it; if there’s an opportunity for a pun, this movie will not just take it but ram it down your throat; if there’s a chance to make it even more stupid, camp and dumb beyond belief you’d better believe they’re going to produce a fucking Bat Credit Card.
All in all, it’s much more of a toy advert than a movie and the decision to make it a more family friendly movie is a terrible one. I doubt any children were playing with action figures from this movie, or if they were they would have made a better movie than this. I’d have rather watched a movie about Alfred fighting his illness than watch this.
However this abomination did cause WB to not make any more Bat movies with Joel Schumacher and lead into Batman Begins so maybe we can be thankful for that.
0 stars.
Wednesday 31 August 2011
CINEMA REVIEW: The Inbetweeners Movie
As a fan of the TV show which I feel brilliantly highlighted the experience of secondary school in a (sort of) true to life way rather than the American high school 90210 hijinks, I approached the movie with some trepidation. Could it be a successful transition of a treasured TV property to the big screen? Or would it be more akin to the misfire of Kevin and Perry Go Large?
It falls somewhere in-between, funnily enough.
Essentially a feature length episode, transporting our foursome on a lads holiday to Malia, it’s filled with the same sort of knob and bodily function gags that the series has become known for. With a lot of swearing thrown in as well. Except in the attempt to make it as accessible to the widest audience as possible in cinemas a lot of the more risqué elements of the TV series have been toned down. I mean, it’s still filthy and utterly vulgar at times, but to me it seemed to have lost some of the edge it had watching on E4. Apparently a lot of cuts had to be made to get the rating down to a more box office friendly 15 rating. I reckon an 18 rated Inbetweeners movie would be far better.
In the TV show there was a joy, a relatable joy, in seeing these 4 guys try and fail and try again to get girls. The template for the movie however is the same as countless other teen coming-of-age stories, and I expected something a bit more cutting from the Inbetweeners. The story, such as it is, revolves around leaving your old life behind and becoming a man. All well and good, but it doesn’t do anything new with the formula except add in some dick jokes. And while it is nice seeing the characters grow up a bit, I just wish it hadn’t done it in quite such a clichéd and well trodden way; Simon spends the whole movie blatantly ignoring the girl he meets on holiday who interested in him because he’s pining after his ex girlfriend Carly, but wouldn’t you know it, by the end realises that he doesn’t want Carly after all but the new girl. It been used so many times its bordering on parody, but here it used as if it’s something we’ve never seen before. In fact, the plot of the movie is basically the same as Superbad, except you have four leads instead of two. It even has the one-friend-realises-that-the-other-friend-is-going-to-uni-and-is-leaving-him-behind scene that Superbad did. However Superbad is a much more consistently funny movie.
Which is the other problem with the movie; it’s not as funny as you might hope. In fact, I can only remember one scene in which I full on belly laughed and that was the dance scene near the start when all of the lads (except Jay) dance over to a group of girls. It’s the sort of cringeworthy but hilarious scene that the TV show had in spades, but the movie only has one of. There’s nothing else that matches it, and certainly nothing as good as punching a fish to death. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still very funny in parts, but the attempts to wring some genuine emotion from the situations ring false and clash horribly with the comedic elements. The TV series meshed the two much better, for example when Jay is dumped the guys can tell he’s gutted and the audience feels bad for him, but his fake excuse for being dumped is hilarious (his penis was too big for her apparently) and yet you still feel bad for him despite his bullshitting.
So overall, it’s good but not great. Worth going to see, but I probably wouldn’t watch it again unlike the TV show, which I could watch countless times.
However, Neil is still comedy gold. And Will is still my favourite character.
2 and a half stars, you bumders.
It falls somewhere in-between, funnily enough.
Essentially a feature length episode, transporting our foursome on a lads holiday to Malia, it’s filled with the same sort of knob and bodily function gags that the series has become known for. With a lot of swearing thrown in as well. Except in the attempt to make it as accessible to the widest audience as possible in cinemas a lot of the more risqué elements of the TV series have been toned down. I mean, it’s still filthy and utterly vulgar at times, but to me it seemed to have lost some of the edge it had watching on E4. Apparently a lot of cuts had to be made to get the rating down to a more box office friendly 15 rating. I reckon an 18 rated Inbetweeners movie would be far better.
In the TV show there was a joy, a relatable joy, in seeing these 4 guys try and fail and try again to get girls. The template for the movie however is the same as countless other teen coming-of-age stories, and I expected something a bit more cutting from the Inbetweeners. The story, such as it is, revolves around leaving your old life behind and becoming a man. All well and good, but it doesn’t do anything new with the formula except add in some dick jokes. And while it is nice seeing the characters grow up a bit, I just wish it hadn’t done it in quite such a clichéd and well trodden way; Simon spends the whole movie blatantly ignoring the girl he meets on holiday who interested in him because he’s pining after his ex girlfriend Carly, but wouldn’t you know it, by the end realises that he doesn’t want Carly after all but the new girl. It been used so many times its bordering on parody, but here it used as if it’s something we’ve never seen before. In fact, the plot of the movie is basically the same as Superbad, except you have four leads instead of two. It even has the one-friend-realises-that-the-other-friend-is-going-to-uni-and-is-leaving-him-behind scene that Superbad did. However Superbad is a much more consistently funny movie.
Which is the other problem with the movie; it’s not as funny as you might hope. In fact, I can only remember one scene in which I full on belly laughed and that was the dance scene near the start when all of the lads (except Jay) dance over to a group of girls. It’s the sort of cringeworthy but hilarious scene that the TV show had in spades, but the movie only has one of. There’s nothing else that matches it, and certainly nothing as good as punching a fish to death. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still very funny in parts, but the attempts to wring some genuine emotion from the situations ring false and clash horribly with the comedic elements. The TV series meshed the two much better, for example when Jay is dumped the guys can tell he’s gutted and the audience feels bad for him, but his fake excuse for being dumped is hilarious (his penis was too big for her apparently) and yet you still feel bad for him despite his bullshitting.
So overall, it’s good but not great. Worth going to see, but I probably wouldn’t watch it again unlike the TV show, which I could watch countless times.
However, Neil is still comedy gold. And Will is still my favourite character.
2 and a half stars, you bumders.
Tuesday 30 August 2011
TELEVISION REVIEW: Let's Kill Hitler
Boy, it’s good to have Doctor Who back, isn’t it?
Back when the mid season split was announced I thought it would be a bad idea, as the show would lose the momentum it had built up with the first 6 episodes. I shouldn’t have worried. And plus, it made me even more excited for some new Who with the 2 month break in between.
And what an episode to start off with; a frothy, light, fun episode which is the norm for (mid) season openers, but at the same time a mythology heavy episode that answers a hell of a lot of questions. Moffat juggles all these balls, and never once drops one.
From the opening crop circle gag the episode never really slowed down, and I feel it did a much better job revealing the big plot points much better than “A Good Man Goes to War’s” clunky gear shifts. Here they seemed organic to the story rather than the rushed cliffhanger ending of the mid season finale.
Back when the mid season split was announced I thought it would be a bad idea, as the show would lose the momentum it had built up with the first 6 episodes. I shouldn’t have worried. And plus, it made me even more excited for some new Who with the 2 month break in between.
And what an episode to start off with; a frothy, light, fun episode which is the norm for (mid) season openers, but at the same time a mythology heavy episode that answers a hell of a lot of questions. Moffat juggles all these balls, and never once drops one.
From the opening crop circle gag the episode never really slowed down, and I feel it did a much better job revealing the big plot points much better than “A Good Man Goes to War’s” clunky gear shifts. Here they seemed organic to the story rather than the rushed cliffhanger ending of the mid season finale.
The revelation that Mels was actually Amy’s daughter completely caught me (and I assume many others) off guard and is actually the kind of trick Moffat’s been pulling since he took over the reins of Nu Who, especially so this series: “You named you daughter…after your daughter.” It’s the kind of thing I always wished Doctor Who would be but never was in the RTD days – timey-wimey. In a series whose title character is a time traveller, you should expect some paradoxes thrown in their every now and again.
In fact I’ve been thinking just how different these two eras of Who have been. I mean, RTD Who would never have been this complicated, but then Moffat Who will never have anything like the “Here Come the Drums” from the Master episodes way back when. Both were great, but it’s a testament to this new production team that they feel like two completely different shows now, as they should.
Acting wise, Matt Smith has rarely been better, balancing the humour and pathos of the Doctor perfectly and showing (once again) an incredible knack for physical comedy. Alex Kingston has a ball as the newly regenerated River Song, at the start of her story. At this stage I’ve given up trying to work out her timeline though, and am just going with it. I often think the writers have a flow chart in their writing room just to pinpoint exactly where what version of River is where in relation to the Doctor, because it’s very confusing to follow. Oh, and I’m saying this now…River Song? I unabashedly and unashamedly ‘would.’ I wouldn’t even feel bad afterwards. Arthur Darvill as Rory continues to be Who’s secret weapon, and would steal the show if it weren’t for Matt Smith. He makes Amy a better character and often gets all the best lines - “I’m trapped inside a giant robot replica of my wife. I’m really trying not to see this as a metaphor.” Karen Gillan is pretty much the same as always, kind of robotic. Which admittedly worked, at least for some of this episode. Still, she looks good in a skirt though.
We also got a lot of questions answered. Sort of. We now know that The Silence are not a alien race, but rather a religious movement (interesting) searching for the answer to the Question (more interesting); that the little girl who regenerated in New York in The Day of the Moon is River (was that also the girl that was in the spacesuit? And if it was, wouldn’t River know that she had already killed the Doctor by the lake in Utah? Maybe I should get myself that flow chart); that the TARDIS itself was who taught River to fly her; that the Doctor now knows when he’s going to die; and River gets her TARDIS diary from the Doctor himself.
Also, I loved the robot justice system thing, populated by hundreds of little tiny people. Such a great idea (dealing out justice to those from history who have done terrible things), and also they made a reference to JFK. Throwaway? Maybe. But knowing Moffat, probably not. Remember Jacketgate?
In fact the only downside to the episode was that ‘evil’ River was perhaps played a bit too broadly as well as the aforementioned timeline questions. Hopefully we aren’t strung along for too much longer.
All in all though, a fantastic episode. 5 stars from me.
And Hitler’s still in the cupboard!
Tuesday 16 August 2011
CINEMA REVIEW: Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Or ‘Caesar Goes Bananas’ if you’d like.
After Tim Burton’s terribly boring (and confusing) re-imagining of the original Planet of the Apes, the only way this franchise could go was up. And it does so with a reboot/prequel in much the same vein as X-Men First Class from earlier this year; a film that acknowledges the movies that have preceded it but at the same time goes off on a slightly different tangent.
The story concerns the secret offspring of a genetically enhanced smart ape, and his rise in intelligence. And as much as there are actors in the movie, the real star is Caesar. Andy Serkis once again dons the mo-cap suit to bring the lead ape to life, and it’s a stellar performance, full of nuance and subtlety. If there’s a criticism of the movie it’s that we don’t really care for any of the human characters, aside from John Lithgow Alzheimer’s afflicted father to James Franco’s geneticist, and that we only care about Caesar’s plight. Most of the human characters are startlingly one dimensional, especially Frieda Pinto’s thankless girlfriend role, but it doesn’t matter as the interaction between all the apes in the movie is the real meat of it. It’s incredibly enjoyable watching Caesar grow more and more intelligent, and his role as pet, then prisoner, then leader is wholly believable given the things going on around him.
And the treatment dished out to Caesar and the other apes in the facility, makes the inevitable escape and attacks all the more satisfying as they mete out justice to those that have treated them so badly. In fact, in the standout scene of the film where Caesar confronts his main tormentor, and yells “NO!” at him, is undeniably powerful. I also felt is was important that Caesar does not let any of the apes kill anyone, apart from the obvious exceptions, as Caesar is not a vicious animal but just yearning to be something more than a common pet. To have him take out his aggressions on people who had nothing to do with his imprisonment would have lessened our sympathy for him, and we wouldn’t have cared if he achieved is freedom. That we do, is a testament to the acting, especially the facial performance, and also makes the “Caesar is home” line totally believable. You never once think “That monkey’s talking. That’s stupid.” You completely buy into it.
And now, to the action. Awesome. All of it. Watching the escapees go completely (ahem) apeshit on everyone is a joy to behold. It’s a different kind of action scene really, as I can’t remember any recent movie with monkeys fighting the police; the action is able to go to places not normally gone to in action films – the apes climbing above the clouds on the Golden Gate Bridge, as well as swinging under it to outflank the police.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes is nothing new. But it’s probably my favourite blockbuster of the summer, and I would definitely go and see a sequel to this, with the setup provided in the mid credits scene, as well as the credits themselves. And also, any Apes movie that doesn't immediately bring to mind Troy McClure singing "You've Finally Made a Monkey Out Of Me" is a winner in my book.
"Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius"
4 stars.
Monday 15 August 2011
TV's Coolest Moments
So, I reckon I watch TV shows more than I do movies. And TV has had a lot of cool moments, at least in the shows I watch. And I have decided to compile a list of the coolest moments from shows that I watch, although I’ve limited myself to one moment per show as a lot of these programmes have a plethora of cool moments.
And so we start with…
The Adama Manoeuvre, Exodus Part II, Battlestar Galactica
Easily the coolest moment on this (or any) list, the Adama Manoeuvre is without a doubt one of the most powerful images of recent TV history. Watching the Galactica fall like a rock through the atmosphere, launch fighters mid freefall, and then jump out with a mighty thunder clap only about 100 feet from the ground is an amazing moment. In isolation, it might just look like another action scene, but with the previous 4 episodes in the New Caprica arc (and hell, most of the series thus far) behind it, it’s a real punch the air, hell yeah moment of Cylon arse kicking, and an extremely cathartic moment too after all the settlers have gone through. The Galactica has come to save the day. As Hotdog says “This oughta be different.”
Runner up: “Can you fly?”
Alternate credits, Peter, Fringe
Fringe isn’t really a show that lends itself to coolness. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fantastic show, but it’s not what anyone would call cool. But when the show had a flashback episode to 1985, the makers decide to mix up the credits a bit to give them an eighties feel. So instead of the usual Fringe titles, which have phrases like ‘precognition’ and ‘teleportation,’ we have a nifty little then-fringe science terms like ‘virtual reality,’ ‘genetic engineering’ and ‘personal computing’ as well as the Fringe logo being in Asimov font as opposed to the usual typeface.
Runner up: the introduction of the Over There Fringe division in the first part of the season 2 finale, complete with cool Broyles, an alive Charlie, and a gorgeous redheaded Olivia.
‘Clark’ flying, Exodus, Smallville
Ok, so it’s not actually Clark, it’s Kal-El (sort of), but it’s a great moment, finally seeing him take to the air. And it neatly sidesteps the no-tights, no flight rule of Smallville by it not actually being Clark. The FX are top notch in this sequence, as we see Clark flying alongside Lex’s plane, rip the door off and retrieve a crystal (or something, I can’t remember), and it continues the tradition of Smallville having great season openers (and finales). They even get a paraphrased ‘is it a bird?’ bit in.
Runner up: Clark rushing into the tornado to save Lana. Awesome.
Jack takes down Gaines, Day 1 11.00-12.00, 24
We’ve seen Jack do some cool thing so far into the first series (in fact just an episode before we’ve seen him threaten one of Ira Gaines’ men with a towel), but this is the first time we’ve seen Jack properly in action, guns-a-blazing. And it’s awesome. I reckon this scene has more impact because of that very reason, it’s our first big Jack Bauer action scene, which would become common place for the next 8 series, but this whole sequence ending in the killing of Gaines is superb.
Runner up: Jack shooting Nina in cold blood in the spot she killed his wife two seasons previous.
The Oncoming Storm, Bad Wolf, Doctor Who
"This is what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna rescue her! I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I'm gonna save the Earth, and *then* - just to finish you off - I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky. Rose? I’m coming to get you.”
Runner up: Rory’s message to the Cyber fleet. “Do you want me to repeat the question?”
“See you in another life, brother,” Man of Science, Man of Faith, Lost
Alright, season 2 of Lost. Let’s see what’s in the hatch. Wait, what’s this? Some dude waking up, pushing some numbers into a computer. Well, it’s an old computer, and he’s just put a record on; this must be a flashback. Hmmm, he’s injecting himself with something, what’s that logo say? Dharma? Oh, there’s a loud bang from somewhere. He’s tooling up, some heavy duty equipment in this place. Wonder who’s trying to get in…holy shit, its Jack and Locke. Well played, Lost. Very well played.
Runner up: “We have to go back”!
And so we start with…
The Adama Manoeuvre, Exodus Part II, Battlestar Galactica
Easily the coolest moment on this (or any) list, the Adama Manoeuvre is without a doubt one of the most powerful images of recent TV history. Watching the Galactica fall like a rock through the atmosphere, launch fighters mid freefall, and then jump out with a mighty thunder clap only about 100 feet from the ground is an amazing moment. In isolation, it might just look like another action scene, but with the previous 4 episodes in the New Caprica arc (and hell, most of the series thus far) behind it, it’s a real punch the air, hell yeah moment of Cylon arse kicking, and an extremely cathartic moment too after all the settlers have gone through. The Galactica has come to save the day. As Hotdog says “This oughta be different.”
Runner up: The pre titles part of He That Believeth In Me. Adama shot fake out, massive space battle, Anders eye glowing red.
“Second best,” Enemies, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Faith (now evil) has taken Angel’s soul turning him into evil Angelus once more, or has she? I remember watching this for the first time on BBC2 back in 1998 (whoa!) and it hasn’t really lost any of its impact. The moment Angel says ‘second best,’ after Faith claiming she’s the best actor in the world, you can’t help but smile. It actually still gives me goosebumps, as for the whole episode I really did believe that they’d turned Angel again. It’s a neat clever twist; one that normally doesn’t happen mid season in TV shows, and for that reason it makes the list.
Runner up: “I’d like to test that theory.”
“Guys? I know kung fu,” Chuck versus The Ring, Chuck
I think we all know why this makes the list. If you weren’t smiling as Chuck takes out a room of bad guys, after uploading a new fancier Intersect in the season 2 finale, then there’s something wrong with you. It’s a gloriously silly moment in a gloriously silly spy show, and it references one of the coolest movies of the past 20 years. In fact, it knows it’s such a cool moment that it does it again in the fourth season.
Runner up: From the same episode actually, Jeffster performing at Ellie and Awesome’s wedding, while a shootout is going on in the other room, marrying together the silly and the serious perfectly.
“And yet somehow, I just can’t seem to care,” Reunion, Angel
“Angel’s gonna save the day, all is well. Wait, what? Oh damn, that’s cold.” Pretty much my reaction to viewing this episode; it takes Angel (the character) to the darkest we’ve ever seen him while not Angelus, as well as sets up the theme for the rest of the series. It’s a great moment because you know the Wolfram and Hart lawyers deserve what they’re getting, but still you don’t expect Angel to just close the door on them and walk away. Or walk to his car and then drive away. And this is the hero of the show.
Runner up: “Can you fly?”
Alternate credits, Peter, Fringe
Fringe isn’t really a show that lends itself to coolness. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fantastic show, but it’s not what anyone would call cool. But when the show had a flashback episode to 1985, the makers decide to mix up the credits a bit to give them an eighties feel. So instead of the usual Fringe titles, which have phrases like ‘precognition’ and ‘teleportation,’ we have a nifty little then-fringe science terms like ‘virtual reality,’ ‘genetic engineering’ and ‘personal computing’ as well as the Fringe logo being in Asimov font as opposed to the usual typeface.
Runner up: the introduction of the Over There Fringe division in the first part of the season 2 finale, complete with cool Broyles, an alive Charlie, and a gorgeous redheaded Olivia.
‘Clark’ flying, Exodus, Smallville
Ok, so it’s not actually Clark, it’s Kal-El (sort of), but it’s a great moment, finally seeing him take to the air. And it neatly sidesteps the no-tights, no flight rule of Smallville by it not actually being Clark. The FX are top notch in this sequence, as we see Clark flying alongside Lex’s plane, rip the door off and retrieve a crystal (or something, I can’t remember), and it continues the tradition of Smallville having great season openers (and finales). They even get a paraphrased ‘is it a bird?’ bit in.
Runner up: Clark rushing into the tornado to save Lana. Awesome.
Jack takes down Gaines, Day 1 11.00-12.00, 24
We’ve seen Jack do some cool thing so far into the first series (in fact just an episode before we’ve seen him threaten one of Ira Gaines’ men with a towel), but this is the first time we’ve seen Jack properly in action, guns-a-blazing. And it’s awesome. I reckon this scene has more impact because of that very reason, it’s our first big Jack Bauer action scene, which would become common place for the next 8 series, but this whole sequence ending in the killing of Gaines is superb.
Runner up: Jack shooting Nina in cold blood in the spot she killed his wife two seasons previous.
The Oncoming Storm, Bad Wolf, Doctor Who
"This is what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna rescue her! I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I'm gonna save the Earth, and *then* - just to finish you off - I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky. Rose? I’m coming to get you.”
Runner up: Rory’s message to the Cyber fleet. “Do you want me to repeat the question?”
“See you in another life, brother,” Man of Science, Man of Faith, Lost
Alright, season 2 of Lost. Let’s see what’s in the hatch. Wait, what’s this? Some dude waking up, pushing some numbers into a computer. Well, it’s an old computer, and he’s just put a record on; this must be a flashback. Hmmm, he’s injecting himself with something, what’s that logo say? Dharma? Oh, there’s a loud bang from somewhere. He’s tooling up, some heavy duty equipment in this place. Wonder who’s trying to get in…holy shit, its Jack and Locke. Well played, Lost. Very well played.
Runner up: “We have to go back”!
So, there's mine. Care to share yours?
JC
Thursday 4 August 2011
CINEMA REVIEW - Captain America: The First Avenger
I wasn’t too bothered about Captain America to be honest. As a character on the page, he’s almost as boring as Superman, so my hopes for a movie weren’t too high. But in my excitement and desire to see every pre-Avengers movie, I figured I may as well see it.And I’m glad I did. It was terrific.
Despite being yet another origin story, this one doesn’t feel stale at all. Partly down to the different setting, but I think mainly down to the fact that the character of Steve Rogers volunteers for the process that turns him into a super soldier. It’s not some random act of fate that turns him into a superhero, (a la Spiderman) nor it is something he was born with (like Supes), it’s something he signs up for, and it’s all the more interesting for it. The character is an easy one to like as well; he’s the underdog and doesn’t have the ‘giving up’ gene. He tries, he fails, and he tries again and again, and it really endears him to the audience. He a good guy, and he desperately wants to fight but he’s not cut out for the army. In a nice little scene early on, he says that he doesn’t want to kill anyone; just that he doesn’t like bullies and it’s this spirit that drives the scientist character (can’t remember the name, but the actor’s Stanley Tucci) to enlist him in the super soldier programme, as he doesn’t just want a strong man, but a good man. So, despite me feeling that Cap is a boring character to read (and I think it might be partly due to always seeing him as Cap, never as Steve Rogers), to watch him be brought to life and the journey that he goes through, from weakling to superhero is pretty powerful, and rather affecting. Another scene during the super soldier process has the scientists, including Howard Stark, worry that the process is too painful and are about to shut it down, when Steve screams from within the chamber not to stop, and that he can take it, really shows the inner strength of the character. The rest of the supporting cast are all great as well, with standouts being Tommy Lee Jones’ stereotypical Army General (imagine a grumpier funnier Agent K, and you’re pretty much there) and Hugo Weaving’s Red Skull (as a Nazi so mental, the other Nazis fear him) who both ham it up a good deal but are fun characters nonetheless. However, I was a bit disappointed that Neal McDonagh (a great character actor) didn’t get more to do a Dum Dum Dugan.
The film has a real retro futuristic feel running throughout it, with the weapons and vehicles used by the Red Skull’s troops being kind of science fiction-y yet in a period setting. In fact the film I was thinking it was very similar to while watching it was The Rocketeer which it turns out, as I discovered later, was by the same director, and the same hallmarks that made The Rocketeer such a distinctive looking movie are here too. The colour palette of the film is quite brown and earthy, but then in the middle of it all you’ve got the red, white and blue of Cap running through a scene. It shouldn’t work, but it does, in much the same way that a dude with a rocket pack in the 50’s shouldn’t work but does*. Normally, when describing a comic book movie, the phrase ‘it embraces it’s comic book roots’ is used to defend the film against accusations that it looks stupid. I feel it’s the opposite here, especially when you have a character running around in a costume essentially made out of a flag, you have to fully go for it, or risk going halfway and failing. In fact the film gives Cap his suit in a rather ingenious way; by using him first of all as a propaganda tool, the suit he’s given is a bit stupid and garish (while at the same time satirising the original Captain America comics, which were sort a propaganda tool in themselves) and when he eventually starts actually fighting, the costume sticks and as such neatly sidesteps all accusations of looking stupid. It’s a clever little trick, and it works superbly.
* maybe that’s just me though, cause I freaking love The Rocketeer.
The effects in the movie work for the most part although there’s some dodgy work in a scene with a speeding train, as well as a bit with the Red Skull’s car, but the rest of the effects have a sort of retro charm to them that fits with the tone of the movie. They’re not photo real let’s say, but they look sort of like a wartime poster brought to life. I can’t really explain it very well but hopefully if you’ve seen the movie you know what I mean. It’s very Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow looking except, you know, not shit.
Also, for the first 45 minutes of the movie Chris Evans is made to look like a 90 pound weakling, and the effect, which from the trailers looked as though it could be pretty embarrassing, is actually really well used, with only one instance where it looks as though the CG folks have gotten his height wrong. It still looks a little odd with Chris Evans face pasted onto a small body, considering you know what he normally looks like, but it’s not like The Rock/Scorpion King bad or anything.
Most of the fight sequences are well done although there’s nothing especially innovative to them, but they’re still pretty exciting. A jailbreak sequence is probably the standout once Cap dons his costume, but the best scene actually arrives just after he given the super serum, chasing down the Nazi spy of foot, using a car door as a makeshift shield (after previously using a bin lid), and finishing up with an underwater scene. A neat little touch in this sequence was the bad guy throwing a little child in the water, usually the point in most movies where the hero would choose to save the child over chasing the villain, but here the child says “Go after him, I can swim.”
As this movie is another entry into the pre-Avengers catalogue we have another game of spot the connections. People have moaned before that these attempts at cross pollination have hampered the stand alone film, and to some extent I’d agree, especially with Iron Man 2 (although I still loved it) but in Captain America the little hints were much more subtle, and I applaud Marvel for that. So, for example, the glowy blue thing that powered the Red Skull weapons was actually an artefact from Asgard and also acts as a precursor for Iron Man’s eventual repulsor rays was nifty. There were more, but I can’t remember them right now, but they were much better implemented this time round.
In fact the only thing I have a problem with is the ending scene, which is set in the present day with Cap waking up after being frozen for the past 70 years following his fight with Red Skull and crashing his ship. It is completely out of step with the rest of the film, and actually destroys the ending of the previous scene which ended on a bittersweet note with Cap saying goodbye to his love interest, Peggy Carter. What should have been a moment of happiness for Cap as he’s defeated his enemy and saved the day (even if he’s presumably going to die in doing so), actually becomes very depressing as he’s now in the future, very much alive, and everything he fought for has gone. The last line is actually one of regret that he never got to dance with Peggy, and then BOOM roll credits. It felt out of place, and solely there to set up The Avengers. In fact I think it would have worked better as the opening to that movie, not the ending to this.
And for anyone not intending to see the film, because they think it’ll be an ‘
4 stars
Wednesday 3 August 2011
Slave (1) to a Franchise
And that franchise is…Star Wars. I know, shock horror!
I love it. I mean really love it. Despite the lacklustre prequels and several duff entries into the Star Wars universe, it’s still the one franchise I’ve probably bought the most stuff of/from. Saying that though, I’m not by any stretch a hardcore Star Wars fan. I’m not hugely into the expanded universe stuff, but I do enjoy some of it.So, here’s the list:
Obviously I own all six of the movies. Only 3 and a half of which are any good.
I own the animated Clone Wars series (the Gendy Tartovsky one) and I urge any Star Wars fan to seek it out, even if you’re not a prequel fan. It’s especially notable as it shows Grievous out to be an absolute badass, something only alluded to in Revenge of the Sith but never shown on screen.
I own the other animated Clone Wars series, which after a disappointing start really came into its own and is in my opinion probably better than the prequel movies themselves. It’s certainly more fun anyway, and it can get away with lines that real actors would sound stupid saying (see: prequels). In particular there is a three episode arc involving and old flame of Obi Wan’s which has more emotion in it in 40 minutes than the entire relationship between Anakin and Padme in the actual movies.
I have had several Star Wars games in the past, including The Force Unleashed and both Battlefronts. As well as Rebel Assault II back in the Playstation days.
I own two lightsabres. Not real ones, like.
I have a dozen or so action figures.
I have a box full of Star Wars miniatures, which is a Warhammer style game that my good friend Adam Fox (another Star Wars aficionado) got me into.
I have a couple of Star Wars novels. I recommend Death Troopers. Star Wars + zombies = awesomeness.
And I also have a lot of Star Wars related t-shirts, which are amongst my favourites of all the nerdy t-shirts I own.
So, there’s my confession. Are any of you acolytes to any fictional universes?
[pictures to follow]
Thursday 21 July 2011
DVD Review: Tangled
Disney movies have become somewhat overshadowed by Pixar movies of late. And for good reason. Pixar make outstanding family movies; for adults as much as they are for kids. Disney just make movies for kids.
Or at least, they did.
Because a little movie came along that changed all that. And that movie was…The Emperor’s New Groove.
Wait, what? I thought this was a review of Tangled.
It is. I’m getting there.
The Emperor’s New Groove was a 2D old school animated movie released in 2000. It was frantic, anarchic and most importantly funny. I mean, hilariously funny. Seriously if you haven’t seen it, try and get a copy. It was still a Disney movie, but it played with the conventions of what you’d expect a Disney movie to be. It still contained all the elements that other Disney movies had, but gave it a post modern spin, as well as an unusual but perfect voice cast. And all the better for it.
Or at least, they did.
Because a little movie came along that changed all that. And that movie was…The Emperor’s New Groove.
Wait, what? I thought this was a review of Tangled.
It is. I’m getting there.
The Emperor’s New Groove was a 2D old school animated movie released in 2000. It was frantic, anarchic and most importantly funny. I mean, hilariously funny. Seriously if you haven’t seen it, try and get a copy. It was still a Disney movie, but it played with the conventions of what you’d expect a Disney movie to be. It still contained all the elements that other Disney movies had, but gave it a post modern spin, as well as an unusual but perfect voice cast. And all the better for it.
And then, Disney tried it again. And it worked perfectly…only this time it was with a live action movie. Enchanted also played with the conventions of the typical Disney movie but kept it fresh and new. It poked fun at the Disney princess idea, but never felt like it was being mean or bad mouthing the history of the House of Mouse. It was an affectionate ribbing. And again, it was funny.
And then last year, Disney decided that to truly go toe to toe with Pixar that they decided to join them in the realms of computer animation. And it has paid off handsomely.
Tangled is at heart perhaps the most traditional ‘Disney movie’ out of the three movies I’ve mentioned so far. It’s a movie that literally has a fairytale princess, a dashing hero and an evil witch. But it’s done in much the same vein as New Groove. It has a fourth wall breaking narrator character; it subverts all the normal Disney clichés but embraces them at the same time.
And it’s very very funny.
The story itself is nothing new, but it’s presented with such an air of confidence and vigour that you get wrapped up in it. It’s a classic tale but with a modern sensibility, in much the same way that the first Shrek movie was. In fact, you don’t even mind the songs when they arise (the music is really the only concession to the classic Disney archetype, but even they’re great. All written and arranged by Little Shop of Horrors music supremo Alan Menken, fact fans) because they’re not professions of love, but rather funny songs that fit and sow seeds for major plot points later on.
The voice cast is absolutely stellar. The reason this movie peaked my interest however was the fact that Chuck himself (Zach Levi) voices the character of Flynn, the dashing hero of the story. He is the perfect person to voice the sarcastic, funny, vain hero. He’s likable even at his most douche-y, and his casting is as inspired as David Spade’s was for Emperor. I can’t really say much about Mandy Moore casting as it could have just been any other voice actress as far as I’m concerned, but Jenny did inform me that she has a great Disney princess singing voice (Moore, not Jenny). The central couple are likebale and easy to root for, because they’re not just ciphers, they actually feel like real characters.
The star of the show however is the horse, Maximus. The horse that thinks it’s a dog. The physicality with which he’s given, and the animation that brings him to life is hilarious. If I could compare it to another animated animal it would be Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon. Both great triumphs in animation, extracting laughs from the movements rather than words.
I watched this on Bluray, and usually any computer animated movie looks great. I expected nothing less from this, but to say I was blown away was an understatement. It’s the best looking picture I have ever seen in an animated feature, and the biggest action scene in the movie looks simply phenomenal. It makes me wish I’d seen it in the cinema.
Anyway, to summarise: a funny, heartfelt, beautiful movie, and for me it’s up there with some of the best Pixar movies.
4 and a half stars
I’m out
JC
Cinema Review - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
And so, the Harry Potter saga comes to an end with Part II of The Deathly Hallows. And for this movie only Potter fan, it was pretty good.Not great, but very good.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 was easily in my top 5 movies of last year, contrary to a lot of critics who complained it was too talky and just a set up to the showdown in Part 2. I guess I can agree with that criticism, but it was also a great movie; a very different kind of Potter film. It was, much as I’m loathe to use this phrase, ‘darker’ and rather foreboding in its tone. And after all, without a great setup, the denouement could fall flat. I loved the first part; I was emotionally engaged with the journey of the three leads in a way I hadn’t been with previous Potters. Standout scenes included Ron listening to the radio broadcast listing the families who have died as a result of the Death Eaters attacks (and hoping not to hear his families names among the dead), as well as Harry and Hermione’s little dance, a moment of happiness amongst all the chaos. Those were scenes that made you really feel for the characters, and their dire situation really gave the movie, and the final movie, a real weight and substance.
So naturally that helped this movie considerably. We hit the ground running in Part 2, there’s no time for any set up. If you’re watching it, you know the story so far so we’re jumping right in. And jump right in we do. The movie wastes no time in getting our trio back to Hogwarts for the final battle, and throughout the first hour the tension is nicely built up. The preamble to the battle really did have my heart racing, mainly because having not read the books I had very little idea about how this was going to go down. From the moment that Harry calls out Snape until the attack starts the tension is ratcheted up to extremely high levels, with armies amassing on both sides ready to fight. Shit’s about to go down, yo.
However, it’s actually once the fighting starts that the movie gradually begins to lose it’s way a bit. The movie is so concerned with the Harry, Hermoine and Ron stories that it rushes everything else. Secondary characters are brought on and disposed with in seconds, and criminally some characters aren’t even given a death scene. We just see people mourning over their bodies during a lull in the battle, namely one of the Weasley twins dies (not sure which one), as do both Lupin and Tonks (the married couple). And I felt nothing over their deaths. It was just “Right, they’re dead. Look sad. Move on.” I cried when Dobby died. I actually wept, and he was a badly done CGI character. These characters, despite not really knowing them that well, just seemed like collateral damage in the grand scheme of things. I’m not asking for every character to have a grand death scene, but something would have been nice. Take Haldir in The Two Towers; we don’t know that much about him, just that he’s an elf and a friend of Aragorn’s, yet when he takes an axe to the back you really feel for him, it’s a real sucker punch and ups the emotional stakes of the whole battle at Helms Deep.
And the characters that do get scenes to themselves are rushed and a little unsatisfying. In the press related to this movie much fuss was made about the fight between Helena Bonham Carter’s Bellatrix L’Estrange and the mother Weasley. Yet when it comes down to it, the scene itself is so horribly rushed through that it feels like a missed opportunity. It should be filled with emotion, as she has already lost one child at this stage and Bellatrix is threatening to kill her daughter. As it is, she says the line “not my daughter, you bitch” and then it’s fizz, bang, wallop, a fight that lasts about ten seconds, and then Bellatrix is dead. What should have been an exciting little aside to the main story (as I’m sure it was in the book) becomes a bit of a damp squib, in the hurry to return to the A plot.
The secondary student characters fare a bit better in the action and emotional beats. In particular, Neville (the tall lanky one), a character who’d never really done much up til now, gets a hell of a lot to do in this movie. After seeing the film, and reading a bit more about the books, Neville is apparently the ‘boy who could have been Harry Potter’ so it was nice to see him get some substantial screentime. And he also gets the films biggest laugh just before the fight starts proper – “Yeah? You and whose army?” Come to think of it, he probably gets all the best non-main trio action scenes too. It’s a shame we didn’t get to see Luna Lovegood letting out some seriously weird magic though.
However, those are my only real complaints with the last hour of the movie. The battle itself is really very exciting, at least in the long shots and little battles between characters that don’t actually have names. We have trolls, spiders, stone guards, teachers, death eaters and students all dishing out the pain, and I have to commend the filmmakers for making people waving wands at each other seem exciting. I reckon it’s hard to make a fight seem exciting when there’s no actual contact between the combatants, so kudos for that.
Happily, all the story threads finally came together in the end with ongoing mysteries answered. The biggest one, of course, being Severus Snape’s alliance and overall arc. I didn’t expect Snape to be killed and then his true motive to be revealed afterwards, but in retrospect it probably was the best way to do it. I did think that the patronus (the glowy animal thing that shows up sometimes to help Harry) that I’d always assumed had been Harry’s parents somehow was actually Snape’s to be a nice little touch. Although the whole long thing does make Dumbledore out to be a bit of a dick, by not telling Harry that he’d have to die for Voldemort to also die.
And then to the big fight; the climactic showdown; Harry versus ol’ no nose. Bit disappointing. As we’ve seen this sort of fight before; the whole duelling wands thing. Again, post movie I’ve learned that the elder wand Voldemort uses was actually Harry’s and as such would not kill its master, and if I’d of known that while watching the movie I reckon it would have more impact. But as it was I was a little disappointed, but I reckon book fans would have been more than pleased.
And then, the epilogue. I’d heard there was a ‘19 years later’ bit, and heard that the actors would be playing their late 30’s selves, and I was worried that it would look terrible. When it didn’t I was pleasantly surprised. Although I do think that it should have ended with the three standing outside Hogwarts, as kids, reflecting on everything that went down, even if it differed from the book.
Overall, as the finale to a decade long series of films it’s fantastic. As a stand alone movie it’s alright. Perhaps watching it along with the first part would improve it. A big 5 hour epic. Ideally I’d like a LOTR style extended DVD release which might offset some of the problems I’ve stated above (rushed scene etc), but as for a rating…3 and a half stars.
Cheers
JC
(P.S. Azkaban's still the best)
Thursday 30 June 2011
Cinema Review - Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Ok, deep breath.
The supposedly final part of the Transformers trilogy is here. And it’s exactly what you’d expect.
This is not a good thing.
I could just review it as the leave your brain at the door kind of movie it is, and as that kind of movie it’s great. The action is fantastic, there’s a lot of it, and it has MASSIVE TRANFORMING ROBOTS FIGHTING FFS!!!!!!!!!! But I’ll choose to be critical instead and put my serious film reviewer head on. Just for you.
I’ll get the good stuff out of the way first:
- MASSIVE TRANSFORMING ROBOTS FIGHTING!!!!!!!! IN 3D!!!!!!!
- Shia LeBoeuf is as likeable in this as he is in the other two.
- Rosie Thingummy-Whatsherface isn’t as bad as reported and does alright.
- Um, did I mention there’s MASSIVE TRANSFORMING ROBOTS FIGHTING? Cause there is.
And now, the bad.
The plot makes literally no sense whatsoever, and all the characters (especially both Autobots and Decepticons) do stupid things in order to advance the next nonsensical part of the plot. The one thing that hugely annoyed me though, was when Optimus Prime gave Sentinel Prime the Matrix of Leadership, which is something that would have been useful for him to have once he SPOILER eventually turns evil. And despite no-one being suspicious of Sentinel at this point, he decides to give it back to Optimus without a second thought.
OPTIMUS!
And slightly earlier, Megatron (who for some reason decides that wearing a head scarf is enough to warrant the Transfomers mantra of ‘robots in disguise’) tells his pet bird transformer (seriously) to kill anyone who knew of the ship that landed on the moon back in the 60’s. This is a ship that contains Sentinel Prime, who is the only one who can activate this super gizmo that could end the war between the Autos and the Deceptions. So, when after the pet bird kills Ken Jeong’s conspiracy theorist Deep Wang (groan) and makes it look like a suicide, all covert-like, what does the robot then do? It proceeds to attack Sam, outing itself as the killer of Wang in the first place.
And, and, when it is revealed that Megatron and Sentinel were working together, it makes you wonder why Megatron just didn’t go and wake him up sooner. I mean Starscream flew into space at the end of the first movie; couldn’t Megatron have said to him at one point “Yo ‘scream, scoot on up to the moon and wake up Sentinel. We’ve got this super secret plan to destroy everything.” And then, we wouldn’t have had the stupidly convoluted plan of tricking the Autobots into finding an engine part of the Ark (the moon spaceship), which leads Optimus to awaken Sentinel and kick this whole thing off.
OPTIMUS!
Later on the Autobots are told to leave Earth, because the Decepticons are evil. This makes literally no sense. Sending away the good robots that can protect you because the bad robots that are still on the planet and won’t leave willingly have threatened to kill you. And then SPOILER the Autobots get blown up because the Decepticons are, shock horror, untrustworthy. So now, the only thing that could protect the humans is gone, because the humans told them to go. Don’t worry though, the Autobots aren’t really dead. Not that you think they are for a second anyway. In fact, they only reveal themselves again after most of Chicago has been obliterated, with thousands killed, apparently because us earthlings needed to be taught a lesson about how the Decepticons shouldn’t be trusted. WHICH WE KNEW ALREADY!!!! Thanks, retarded US Government, and fuck you very much Optimus. People are fucking dying here.
(Dammit, I was going to try and not swear, but thinking about these things just makes my brain hurt, and also very very angry.)
OPTIMUS!
And also, what were those other Transformers doing on the moon? They didn’t need to be revived like Sentinel Prime did. They just apparently woke up when the space bridge teleporter thing was turned on. Were they just chilling out on the moon for the past 50 years since the Ark crashed? And that’s another thing, the start of the movie says that Sentinel was trying to escape on the Ark during the Cybertron War, but the Decepticons shot him down. Why? If he was in league with the Decepticons, why would they have shot him down at all? And if only Sentinel knew of the alliance why did all those Transformers on the moon suddenly turn bad. One assumes they were on the Ark, and therefore as Sentinel was still a good robot at the time, they were good robots too.
I could list a whole load more of these stupid stupid little annoyances, but it’d take far too long.
OPTIMUS!
Also, for a movie that is about MASSIVE ROBOTS FIGHTING!!!!!! It takes a while before we see any actual fighting. There’s like 2 big set pieces in the first hour and a half, and then the final 40 minute battle. Which yeah is cool, but you sort of get a bit fatigued by the end of it. It doesn’t build and build and build in the way that some great cinematic battles have, like in Return of the King for example. Its big battle here, big battle somewhere else, and another one somewhere else again. They all seem to happen one after the other. Some inter-cutting would have been nice.
And worst of all, Optimus Prime is taken out of the battle for twenty minutes by, get this, getting tangled in a bunch of cables. This is Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, who now apparently needs to tow around a truck that carries his weapons in it, and is useless without them, despite having concealed blades up his robot sleeves in the 2nd movie, getting caught in a bunch of fucking wires. It’s stupid, and then the other Autobots get captured which makes them look rubbish in comparison. We're not even shown how Bumblebee et al get captured, just all of a sudden they are. Even though half of them were on the other side of the city a second ago, now they're where they need to be to service the plot. The geography is all fucked up throughout. But it gets worse. At the point where everything seems lost and the Decepticons are about to execute Bumblebee, Optimus shows up out of nowhere and kicks everyone’s ass, saving the day. Ordinarily I would think that was cool, but because Optimus takes everyone out so easily, it the equivalent of the Power Rangers calling in the power sword, whenever things got really tough. Even the action didn’t excite as much as it had previously; I think it’s just a bit of overuse really. I mean, transforming robots was cool 2 movies ago (Optimus transforming in the city at the climax of TF1 is still one the coolest things I’ve ever seen) but now, and it pains me to say it, it kind of boring. In fact, we don't even see the bit that might have been pretty cool, the siege of Chicago by the Decepticons. We just cut to black at one point, and when we come back the city is overrun. I mean I get some things have to happen off screen, but not that. Surely, showing us the plight of some of the humans (the people you'd think we're supposed to care for) would have made the eventual defeat of the Decepticons more powerful. But no, we skip over that bit and don't see the Chicagoans die, because Michael Bay is only interested in the robots.
OPTIMUS!
The final nail in the coffin though was that Rosie Thingummy-Whatsherface’s character is the one who convinces Megatron (Megatron!) to stand up and fight against Sentinel because if Sentinel wins, Megatron will only be his second in command. This is Megatron, leader of a highly advanced race of evil robots, tricked into saving Optimus’ life by a teenager using Psychology 101. And it works. Then despite Megatron saving Optimus’ life, Optimus then goes and flat out executes him. In fact, Optimus is a bit of a dick in this movie, letting the Decepticons destroy Chicago to teach the humans a ‘lesson’ and then killing Megatron who I bet was just about to apologise.
And then, about a minute after Megatron is defeated the movie ends with everyone laughing a chuckling. Don't worry about the thosuands of dead folk littering the streets. As long as Bumblebee makes a cute gag about Sam and Rosie Thingummy-Whatserface getting married and Optimus makes his usual sanctimonious speech, everything is alright.
The next list of bad things aren’t so much plot annoyances, just wee niggling things. Much like Decepticon testicles in the last movie.
- Why do some Transformers have beards? Seriously, this doesn’t make any sense. And why are some of them made to look old? Robots don’t age, and I very much doubt that when they transform there’s a part of their programming that turns their non-transformer form into various facial hair, and/or teeth. Megatron had teeth. Why? This makes no fucking sense whatsoever. And also, one of the Autobots has a Scottish accent and threatens to bottle somebody. I would have foud that funny if it wasn't so fucking ludricrous.
- What the fuck is Malkovich doing in this? He serves no purpose but to be Sam’s dicky boss. Yet he’s shoehorned into the plot at a later point. I don’t remember what he does, but he’s never seen again.
- Alan Tudyk plays a gay, apparently former Nazi, manservant to John Turturro’s now famous ex-FBI agent. I have no words.
- I have no idea who half the transformers were in the movie. In fact the only one I did know was Optimus Prime, because at least one character, normally Sam, screams it every 20 minutes.
-And also, despite being called Dark of the Moon, there is only one point of the movie where it is mentioned and that's right at the start.
OPTIMUS!!!!
So, overall. 2 stars, one for the action, and 1 because it's not utterly irredemmable, but it's pretty close.
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